Gathering information for yet another school project, my daughter was recently grilling me for details of my childhood. She wanted to know what we ate, how we got around and how we could possibly find out anything useful without Google.
After reassuring her that we did not travel by horse and cart or forage for food on the forest floor – she seemed to nurture the general belief that we were raised in Medieval England – I got to thinking about the memories which have stuck with me over the years. And it surprised me that it wasn’t the major events that came so easily to mind, but the mundane, everyday moments that returned with a ray of sunshine and a fond recollection of a loving family home.
It’s still a mystery to me how she did it, but my mum had a way of keeping things
sweet on the home front while working full-time in the family business. I can only conclude that she cunningly had us helping out with the household chores without us really noticing. For example, Saturday morning was set aside for cleaning the house. I have little recollection of the dusting and polishing, but one of my jobs was to choose the soundtrack to which we worked – thumbing through the family music collection to find songs that would inspire us to new heights of cleanliness. I can clearly remember waltzing around the lounge room wafting a feather duster as the frantic strains of Zorba the Greek reached fever pitch. Family shopping days were another delight. These grand occasions happened once or twice a year, when both parents planned a day off work and gave me permission to skip school (gasps of horror from any teachers reading this!). We would drive an hour or so to a nearby city, start the day with morning tea then browse the shops to our heart’s content, stopping to linger over lunch before driving home happy but exhausted late in the afternoon. These days were more about pleasure than purpose although there would often be a present to buy or an outfit to purchase. We were just taking time out as a family to have fun and see something new.
Now, I can’t say I have started this tradition in my own family yet. Shopping with three children is still more trauma than treat right now. However, one thing which began by accident but is fast becoming a fixture is the pre-birthday, late-night shopping trip. This involves me taking only the birthday girl or boy to the shops on an evening close to the big day, sharing giggles and secrets over supper then picking out a small gift. I’m amazed how much they love this one-on-one time – the dynamics are so different when there’s no need to compete for attention.
Thinking back to these childhood moments has reminded me how important it is to make memories for our kids. Sometimes life is so busy that the fun gets squeezed out. Too often, I dash around focused on getting the job done instead of slowing down and including the little people.
Note to self: make time to dance with the duster!
Deborah
5 comments:
Deborah,
I loved, loved, loved this post. I could hear Zorba playing in my head whilst reading. I too think back to the 'memorable moments' and wonder if my children will have similar thoughts about their childhood. I hope and pray that they do.
I like your note to self......I've taken that on board as well.
Thanks again.
Susan
Ok, so now I am convicted about putting more effort in to the 'create a memory' department. We have just re-started pizza and video night. This is proving to be a hit and without fail when Friday evening rolls around, my kids are discussing which video we should watch. You've given me some other great ideas.
Love your work.
Nic
Deborah,
I really loved reading your post, what a way to be bought up, makes cleaning fun!
I really hope my kids look back and see what a fantastic childhhod they were gib=ven.
Thanks again
Belinda
As a mother of VERY grown children I can tell you that you are absolutely correct - life is built through the small things. There are lessons that are taught through the seemingly mundane in life that cannot be taught at school or through friends.
I hear and read many these days saying it's not the moments, that you can do it all and your kids won't suffer, just bring them along for the ride. To that I raise my glass and say 'forget it'. Your kids will miss you and so will you. It's not the big gifts or the expensive holidays, it's in the dance with the feather duster, it's the singing into the vaccum cleaner, it's in the washing the car.
Don't be fooled girls, the moments matter. I really enjoy reading your website, you are bringing back some of the great that our generation enjoyed with our young families.
I will click off now and will continue to read your articles with pleasure. Keep up the good work girls.
Eilleen
Thanks so much for your feedback girls! I was worried you might think dancing with dusters was slightly mad, but I love knowing that the little moments can be so valuable.
Deborah
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