The importance of respect

During the last week in Sydney, Australia, there has been a media frenzy around a story involving rugby league players and group sex – specifically an incident that occurred seven years ago in a hotel room in Christchurch, New Zealand.

Without going into too much detail, as the media has already done that, the woman supposedly agreed to have sex with two football players, but somehow, and this is where the truth blurs, other team members decided to get in on the action.

Depending on whose side of the story you believe, the woman was in agreement with this and, according to former work colleagues, she boasted of this interlude the next day.

It’s worth mentioning that she was 19 years old at the time and, it would not be unreasonable to assume, very naïve. Five days later she went to the police to inform them she had been sexually assaulted.

This is not the first time such events have occurred in Australia with rugby league teams.

Sadly, the governing body that oversees the sport, the NRL, has been unable to prevent these types of events from transpiring time and time again; some would say they haven’t taken a hard enough line with players who choose to conduct themselves in this manner.

In response to the story, the NRL has gone to great lengths to inform the public of its endeavours to train players in the way they behave in public and with members of the opposite sex and therein lies the problem.

How have we as a society come to the point where adults need special classes in how to treat members of the opposite sex. Isn’t this something that we should learn as we are growing up? I’m sure the vast majority of men reading this article would not even consider treating a woman in such a demeaning and degrading way.

Sadly, the men involved in this story didn’t think this way and were happy to indulge their fantasies. Those that didn’t were happy to stand by and watch, happy to treat this girl, somebody’s daughter, somebody’s sister, as nothing more than a plaything. They didn’t even know her name.

Having friends who were professional athletes, I know there are woman who will throw themselves at sports stars in some vain attempt to connect with celebrity. One player interviewed this week told how, within 30 minutes of walking into a bar, he had offers of sex from three different women.

Society today has an unhealthy obsession with celebrity. There are people, especially young women, who constantly endeavour to emulate their favourite celebrity. Some celebrities are good role models but sadly most are not. Do you really want your daughter to follow in the footsteps of Paris, Britney or Lindsay, or your son to grow up emulating some of the extracurricular activities of their favourite sport stars and entertainers?

Forgive me if it appears I have mounted my moral high horse to judge celebrities, I have no idea of the issues and challenges that they have to confront on a daily basis, living with constant media scrutiny on every aspect of their lives. It must be daunting to say the least, and the vast majority of us should share the blame when these people fall as we are happy to indulge in the continual barrage of shows and gossip magazines the media presents to us.

As parents, we have a responsibility to our children not only to educate them and give them the skills to live their lives as healthy and well-adjusted adults, but to instil morals, values and a depth of character in them. Our daughters need to know their self-worth is not dependant on who they know and who they look like. Our sons need to show proper respect for women and the courage to stand up to those who don’t.

Last year, our police commissioner was asked what he regarded as the biggest problem facing our society today. The answer was simple – RESPECT. We as a society no longer seem to respect our police, each other or even ourselves, he said.

So there is the challenge for each of us entrusted with the privilege of raising our next generation. I absolutely believe that if we don’t like the way our society is moving we, as parents, can bring about change one child at a time.

Remember, you control what is being taught in your home!

Mark