To be or not to be?

During a recent evening with friends, an individual shared with us about a relationship he has with someone from the church he attends. He said it was unlike any of his other relationships because neither of them intends to get anything out of their friendship. Someone else in the group stated that he, on the other hand, doesn’t have any relationships like this, rather all of his relationships seem to have an agenda, whether it’s his or the other person’s.

As this conversation continued, it really got me thinking. How many friendships do we create for the sake of simply “being” and how often do we look at those relationships as a waste of time?

I’ve been told that there are three kinds of relationships we build:

1. Where we expect someone to invest into us (we get something out of it)
2. Where someone expects us to invest into them (they get something out it)
3. Where neither of us gets “anything” out of it necessarily, we just get to “be”

I truly believe that we as humans have been created with a need to be in relationship. Unfortunately, life experiences will often determine how we look at those relationships, and which ones we choose to spend the most time working on, when in fact they’re all so important in our development.

As we often state at The Family Room, it’s time to bring things back to the kitchen table, to place value on all relationships. Maybe it’s time to take a closer look at your relationships and determine which ones maybe need a bit more work than others. Are you missing out on “being”? Perhaps you spend all of your time investing into others, rather than being invested into yourself. Or maybe you’re quite selfish in your relationships and only think about what you can receive, rather than what you can give.

My challenge to you would be to think about your relationships and try to balance all three forms of friendships in your life. This could potentially mean dropping a few, and making some new ones.

Happy relationship building …

CJ