How Will They Remember Me?

In the wake of moving house, I keep stumbling across different sentimental bits and pieces collected over the years. Some things are from my childhood, some from my teens, although most are from my 20’s. Many of these items will become my daughters over the course of her life to either laugh at (fashion magazines from the year she was born) or treasure such as letters from my mother.

Each item, naturally, has a memory attached to it. Some strong,
some so faint that I have to close my eyes to think back, yet the question they all bring to my attention is “What memory will I leave?” If a small metal badge from 1979 can bring hilarious memories and comfort, what more will I bring to my daughter when I am elsewhere? Whether that be at home, while she is studying at university or remembering the days of her youth when I am gone.

So after popping my girl off to bed, I jotted down some questions to ask myself. These are questions we should not only ask once of ourselves, but keep a check on annually, monthly, even weekly. Adjust them to suit your family and see what answers evolve.

•How attractive am I to my daughter? i.e. Is my daughter desperate to hang out with me or does she prefer the company of her friends, their mothers, relatives, etc?

•Do my words keep her hanging for more….Do I actually talk to her or am I finding myself just giving orders or instructions?

•Do I encourage my daughter to dream and stop to smell the roses?

•Am I drawing out the best in her?

•Is the atmosphere in my home comfortable for not only our family, but our friends also?

•Is laughter part of our everyday?

•Do I see the funny side of things or do my feathers get ruffled quickly?

•Can my daughter share anything and everything with me?

•Am I transparent with my daughter?

•Are my words worth writing down…will she want to recall words I speak to her or will she try to forget them because they bring pain?

•Am I choosing to love her more than me?

I was surprised with what I actually wrote down when I took a closer look. I am inspired to try that little bit harder to make my memory not only comforting, but also a legacy for her and her children.

Michaela.
©The Family Room 2006