Love Thy Neighbour

My husband and I are currently renting a house in a community that has many young couples/people/families in it. During the school year there are many parties to be had on our street, and during the summer months we're realizing there are far fewer vehicles parked along there.

We've been living in this area for seven months; we started in the basement suite of the house we're now in, and moved upstairs early this year when the opportunity arose. Our neighbours on both sides are fairly young. On one side there are renters as well, both upstairs and downstairs, most of whom we believe to be uni/college students because we don't see too much of them since school's finished up. On the other side is a young couple who are both working and currently five months pregnant! We're friendly with our neighbours on both sides, but don't really have a real relationship with them.

On Sunday, my husband and I were out for most of the day, starting with church in the morning, lunch with the family, and then a bit of time spent with my sister-in-law. When we arrived home in the later afternoon we found our front lawn to be freshly mowed (yum, I love the smell of fresh cut grass!). But who would have mowed our lawn?

My husband's brother headed over to grandma's after lunch to mow her lawn, perhaps he decided to come over to our place afterwards and mow ours as well? Possible, but not likely since we live on the opposite side of town to grandma.
Our neighbour’s lawn was freshly mowed as well ... could it be he?

Sure enough it was.

How's that for loving thy neighbour??? We often quote the "Golden Rule" and are quick to tell others to "love thy neighbor as thyself", but how often do WE actually follow through with what's coming from our mouths?

Our neighbour Mike, who we hardly know, put these phrases into action as he mowed our lawn. Now, we don't have a huge lawn so it wasn't like it was an incredibly straining task for him, yet he still went out of his way to be great neighbour. What an example of what true community should be. Though the relationship maybe isn't there, he showed common ownership, something I think the average person generally overlooks.

We often define community by the relationships we have with one another, but community can also be defined as "a group of people living together in one place, esp.one practising common ownership". I think it's about time we started building community, but not just in and around our close relationships, let’s start building good communities around common ownership; around "loving thy neighbour".

Happy community building.

~cj

How Green Is Your Trolley

With obesity and obesity related diseases at an all time high and sadly continuing to increase at a rapid rate I decided to re visit an article I wrote for the blog spot on October 30th, 2006.

I first began to think about this article when I was out doing my groceries and was accompanied by a friend. As we walked the isles of the supermarket my girlfriend and I had a funny conversation, she was telling me how she felt proud weaving through the crowded isles with me because my shopping trolley/cart looked so healthy. It was full of fruits and vegetables and wise product choices rather than being loaded down with processed foods, colourful cardboard boxes of prepared dinners, pop, chips and other empty calories.

As we continued gathering everything that was on my list our conversation about the shopping trolley/cart continued. While we spoke I began to notice the other trolleys and began to see what she was seeing. The majority of carts were full of colourful boxes designed to entice our children, clever marketing companies are being paid good money to catch our children at an early age and good old ‘pester power’ takes over (children nagging mum to please buy that sugar coated cereal with marshmallows and a toy), prepared meals that are ready in the microwave in only 60 seconds and promise to make our busy lives easier whilst providing all the necessary dietary need. Then of course there’s the white bread that is whiter than new snow with bold letters screaming out HIGH FIBRE (if only I believed it!). As I processed what I was seeing I was thinking to myself, “no wonder we are experiencing a health crisis relating to obesity, we aren’t caring enough about what we are using to fuel our bodies.” To complete my research during this shopping excursion I almost fell over when I witnessed a fellow shopper, whom I had been observing throughout our conversation, pick up a can of cat food and carefully check the label. I’m sure she just wanted to make sure ‘whiskers’ was getting the right quantities in her little diet however what I found fascinating was that without even a second glance she had
(earlier) thrown in a few boxes of fruit roll ups, diet soda and lucky charms cereal plus other stuff for her family. I think we may have it wrong when the cat is eating better than the children and ourselves….. that’s just my thinking.

I say all of this to encourage you to consider your shopping even more than you do now. Read labels and know what you are putting into your body and those in your care. A good rule of thumb is, if it has more than 5 ingredients it probably needs additional 5-7 ingredients to keep it alive on the shelf for longer than it should be. Also, if you need a bio-chemical degree to even try and understand what it is you’re eating again a good indicator that the product probably isn’t the best for anyone. Personally I think if I can’t pronounce it it isn’t worth ingesting.

So friends fill your trolley with good choices, visit the produce isle and be adventurous, there are so many amazing things that are now available to all of us. Walk with confidence through your favourite supermarket knowing that you are doing the best for your family and yourself by making sure your trolley/cart is vibrant and full of goodness. As always feel free to click through our archives to find great tried and true familyroom recipes that everyone will enjoy.

Now I ask, “How Green Will Your Trolley Be This Week”?

Susan J Sohn

Sleep, sleep, sleep.......anyone interested?

I have had a desire to write a blog about this subject for ages. I have a 13-year-old son called Jacob, who finds it very difficult to go to sleep at night. I have tried many different things to help him, just to name a few I’ve tried oils on his pillow, oils in the shower, drops on his tongue made from Bach flowers plus more….

The other day I was reading an article written by one of our teachers at school. The article said that in a recent sleep study conducted on young people more than 40 percent of students are said to be chronically sleep deprived. In addition, there are now links being drawn between attention deficit disorders and sleep deprivation. The current thought (which actually isn’t current at all, we’ve known this for ages but have chosen to ignore this fact) is that younger children need around ten hours sleep each night while teens need around eight to ten hours of comfortable sleep.

It is recommended that a bedtime routine is useful in establishing regular sleep patterns. We have done this with Jacob and have seen results. I think the routine and the ‘winding down’ help considerably. This is where consistency plays a big role and we all know how important consistency is in parenting.

Things we include in our routine are:
Prayer – praying about the day that is now over and the day ahead.
Reading – there is nothing more soothing for a child than the quiet lull of a parents voice reading a calming story. Action type books or high intensity isn’t what you’re looking for here, rather a relaxing type of book.
Shower or Bath – we all know that a shower or a bath and clean jammies and bed linen help all of us sleep better. Do whatever you can to make sure the bedroom is comfortable and relaxing.

Another thing the article pointed out was that children or young people SHOULD NOT have access to mobile phones, computers or televisions in their bedrooms (a familyroom message for sure!). Not only will this keep them awake and disrupt their sleep it is also very unwise to give anyone unlimited, unsupervised access to these communication tools. Leaving these out of the bedroom helps with the ‘unwinding’ and gives space and time to calm down encouraging proper rest. You may find that you will need to teach your child to unwind. Many children and young people these days are juggling schedules that are beyond their years. They may need your help to learn how to be still and allow themselves to be calm, body, soul and spirit.

In this day and age being still and calming down isn’t something young people associate with, they are used to highly charged video games, energy drinks, text messaging at the speed of light and carrying on 4-5 online conversations at one time whilst doing their homework. Times have changed so much it is our responsibility as parents to learn how to help and teach our children to calm down, it won’t come naturally to them in this electronic, moment by moment world.

There are pressures put on our children that we didn’t grow up with. Gone are the days of getting up in the morning, putting on whatever clothing is close enough and semi clean looking and learning how to ride bikes with no arms. Today our children are taking tests to get into schools, calling each other to find out how to get to the next level on a computer game, watching their computer screens to see who’s speaking to who and what’s happening online rather than outside their front door. It truly is a new day and a time when our children are preparing for jobs and occupations that don’t even exist right now. We can’t even visualise the future that they will live in.

With that in mind I believe strongly that we need to put tools in their hands and we need to teach them to rest and to find peace in a crazy world. We need to establish strong sleep patterns for them, which helps brain development and contributes greatly to strong healthy bodies, souls and spirits.

We certainly haven’t got it right but we are trying really hard to instil this skill and so many more into our children. If you have any ideas and suggestions that will help those of us who have children who haven’t learned the art of sleeping yet please share ~ after all that’s what thefamilyroom is about. Lastly, Jacob fell asleep on time last night…..yahoo!

Belinda xx

A Good Check-Up

HI everyone,

A quick chat about health today…

One of the things we know we should do and inevitably as busy mums/moms, neglect, is our health and keeping it monitored.
I want to encourage you to just do it. I have been putting it off and realised that it’s been 2 years since I did anything that was remotely related to looking after my body so I just went all out and did it.

I saw my GP and she checked for lumps in my boobs. I made an appointment to see the skin cancer clinic to get my moles checked out. I made a time for a pap smear and went and had blood tests. This week I’m going to get the results and will learn about my iron and cholesterol status, my blood sugar levels, my vitamin D status (if this is low we don’t absorb calcium properly) and my thyroid.

So there you go....there’s no lumps in places they shouldn’t be, my blood pressure is healthy and even though I’m confident my other tests will be fine, I’ll know for sure once it’s there in black and white. My GP and I had a good old chat about general health and I had the opportunity to chat about the kids and any little things that were niggling.

Now, if something does come up that needs addressing, I will have caught it at a time when hopefully it can be treated well and all will be fine. But I would hate to neglect my health and be told….Well if we’d just caught it earlier…

Your life is too valuable to gamble with…make an appointment and be proactive with your health today. Also, have a listen to our familyroom Podcasts where we cover essential health issues.

Lv Jane

Big Picture and the Small Details

I'm old enough to remember listening to American Top 40 with Casey Kasem. His signoff was always significant to me "Keep your feet on the ground, but keep reaching for the stars." It's a big tangential but related to this post. Because when you look down at your feet, it's not very far away, it's right beneath you. You can see the detail. When you reach for the stars though, it's expansive, limitless, and requires a telescope to see the details.

I told my wife the other day, after a particularly bad decision I made. Please regularly ask me these two questions:

1) Are you keeping the Big Picture in mind?
2) Do you know all the Small Details?

As it has been said, "You need to know where you are going, to figure out how you are going to get there." I'm good at the Big Picture. Projecting, framing, conceptualizing. I'm also pretty good at Small Details. The minutae, the legalese, the things that can trip you up. But I'm sometimes not so good at keeping those two in balance, and context. I can easily get lost in the visioneering, or bogged down in the small details. So I'm happy that I have a wife who will keep me accountable to these two questions, which really help me make decisions, and proceed with my everyday.

After all, its the daily decisions we make that have a cumulative effect of our life's outcome, in technicolor dynamic real-time.

So ask yourself the two questions I posed above and have a good think.

Philip

We All Grow Up Eventually

We All Grow Up Eventually

As most of you know, our family has been living in LA for the past while. We have loved our time here, it has been a great learning experience and we have met some extraordinary people. LA is full of diversity and truly gives expression to the vastness of humanity.

Throughout my time here I have come to know a great man who runs a business on the corner of our street. He’s a big man in stature and one of those kind eyed, teddy bear types. Yesterday I was in his shop and as usual we had a great conversation. He has a kind smile and always chooses his words wisely. You just know that he thinks deeply and considers things before saying them.

Over the months and through our many conversations I have always been curious about a certain tattoo he has on his left hand. I’m fascinated by what they call body art (tattoos) and the stories that go along with each permanent marking. Before you ask…..no I don’t have any myself!!!! I’m happy to leave that to others. Yesterday I decided to ask him what the sequence of numbers and letters meant. After asking, he paused and looked into the distance and said, “I haven’t always lived in a nice neighbourhood like this. My childhood and younger years were spent in some extremely rough areas of town.” I replied saying, “Enough said.” I knew my question had taken him to a dark place in his past that was riddled with experiences I have never known. I knew he was referring to his gang days. He chose to continue the conversation and he told me about bad choices he had made in his younger years. As he shared these stories I could see the pain written not only in ink on his body but in those kind eyes. He then began to tell me about the good choices he eventually started to make. His kind eyes met mine once again and he said, “We all grow up eventually.” I smiled and thanked him for sharing with me. I told him his story needed to be shared both to kids who are walking on the wrong side of right and to parents who’s hearts are breaking.

I left the shop with his words echoing in my mind, “We all grow up eventually.” A simple statement from a strong man who has probably seen more than I or even perhaps you can imagine. I thought his words needed to be shared to parents everywhere who hold concern in their heart for their children who are seemingly making wrong choices. Through this mans life be encouraged, keep loving and keep as close as possible because……We All Grow Up Eventually.

Susan xoxo

World's First Pregnant Man

I feel compelled to comment with regards to a story that seems to have engulfed the media of late concerning the pregnancy of a trans-gender called Thomas Beatie.

Being a father of three beautiful children I think I am qualified to reply to Thomas Beatie’s statement that says “It's not a male or female desire to have a child. It's a human desire,"

While this may be true and accurate it was my wife Belinda that conceived, nurtured and carried each of our children for the term of her pregnancy. It was also my wife who gave birth to each of our children, and here lies the problem, my wife has the reproductive organs that allow her to become pregnant and carry a child to term as a male I do not have the necessary organs to conceive or give birth to a child.

While I can sympathise with the plight of trans-gender people and not at all wanting to denigrate them in any way, a woman having her breasts surgically removed does not make her any less of a woman or a mother and further taking testosterone to cause her to become more masculine in appearance does not make her a man or a father.

I can honestly say at no time during any of Belinda’s pregnancies, did I feel a was missing out on one of life’s great moments because I was a man and biologically unable to carry our unborn child. After all I was there at conception and would be there for at birth. Sure there many nights I would fall asleep with my hand gently resting on Belinda’s beautiful baby bump, knowing there was another heart beating in the bed with us... a life we had both helped to create. I massaged her back when she had back aches ,rubbed her feet when her feet were swollen, made here cups of tea and even drove across twelve suburbs one Friday night to get here favourite food that she had craving. But not for one second did I have even the slightest desire to physically carry any of our children for the term of a pregnancy that’s the unique role of a mother.

So this got me thinking about what it is that makes a father and what it is that makes a mother. Having been a parent now for 13 years and specifically a father to my children, there are defiantly roles in parenting that are better suited to men as are the aspects that come more naturally to women. This is not to say one is more important than the other, or that each role can’t be adapted to either parent. I am sure there are many single parents both male and female who can confirm this to be the case. To these single parent I have the utmost respect and admiration for them... parenting is hard enough (at times) when there are two people involved let alone having to take on the role of being both mother and father to your children.

I know there have been countless times in this journey of parenthood were Belinda’s maternal instincts have allowed her to see things that well, basically as a father and a man, I failed to see. Things that are unique about being a mother, the nurturing and protection that a child longs for when they are ill or have stubbed a toe while out playing. Sure men can be the one to nurture in those times but it's the mothers seem so much more self sacrificing and is willing to sit up all night to nurse an ill child, etc. Likewise there are times I see things as a male and a father that are unique to being a father.

My eldest son has just entered his teenage years and my second son is not that far behind. I know this time is where I need to stand tall for my sons, puberty, adolescence and finally manhood is the journey we are on now. This is a precarious time in this modern world we live in, they need me to help them navigate their way through these waters. Sadly so many fathers today want to neglect this role and prefer to be a friend to their son’s, one who is always liked, always the cool dad who lets them do whatever they want.

I remember being told a story by my hairdresser (he’s a man by the way) that encapsulates the father-son relationship really well. When my hairdresser was 18 he brought a hotted up Nissan that went super fast ~ the kind you buy when you’re 6 ft tall and bullet proof. He took it home to show his dad however upon showing him he discovered that his father was disappointed. Disappointed for a reasons but one being because his son had purchased his first car without him. His father had hoped he could have gone with him ~ you know sort of a father and son thing.

His father tried to keep his disappointment from showing and asked for the keys so he could take it for a ‘spin’. During his drive thoughts ran through his mind, he had to deal with a number of things, firstly there was the joy of seeing his son walk independently and his new found freedom - something he had been trying to instil since he was a child. In the same moment he felt grief. Grief because this was a moment he thought they would share together. Plus frustration because his son had chosen a 'hotted up Nissan'. The father had to make a decision, would he get out of the car and say, “ Well done son, what a beast of a machine you have bought. You’re going to be popular with your friends. Here’s fifty bucks go fill her up!” Or, would it now be his time to be the self-sacrificing parent and step up to the role of being the father. Would he make the hard decision and risk be disliked by his son and put up with the silence and tension at home for a while? Upon returning from his quick ride his dad got out of the car and said, “Sell it!” The son replied, “But why?” To which his father replied, “Because I said I would help you buy a car, not a coffin!”

My hairdresser told me that after this he didn’t speak to his dad for 6 months. He said that, at the time, he hated him for the decision he had made. However with hindsight being 20/20 and he now being a 27 year old man, he confidently confesses that his father did the right thing. He knows that in that car, at that age, he would have killed himself or worse…..someone else.

In that moment my hairdressers father made a decision that would change their relationship forever. These two men they went from being close to being alienated and at odds with each other. There was tension when they were together and tension, as we all know, has the ability to affect other relationships within the family unit.

Why did his father make such a decision? It’s simple really. He was a son once and so he knew how his son thought, he made the tough decision because he had been where his son was. He knew the mind of a boy becoming a man. Like most fathers he had been at his sons conception and birth, he had watched his son grow and he knew that it he needed to step up to the plate and sacrifice and be the father his son needed ... he did it because he loved his son and needed to protect him.

I’ll leave the fathers with this question, what choice would you of made? Sometimes being a father means sacrificing our own feelings and desires for the good of the next generation... our children. Sometimes we need to operate from the father’s heart and perspective, which only becomes real when a boy becomes a man and a man becomes a father.

By the way my hairdresser and father have a great relationship now.

Mark

Health and Fitness 08 ~ Update and Information

Hello all.  Just a quick update from the health and fitness desk of thefamilyroom!!!!
I am continuing on my journey and will hopefully do a Youtube video soon to talk about some of the things I've been doing. However today I wanted to quickly highlight our caloric intake.  I've been forcing myself to take a good look at my daily intake and I've been shocked.  I've discovered that I'm basically still eating like I'm a breast-feeding mother......that ended over 2 years ago!!!!! Yikes.

Below I've included a few points for you to ponder and in the days and weeks to come I will be sharing a few extremely shocking information about some of our daily intakes and 'treats' that will (if you're anything like me) leave your chin on the ground.

Here we go.  A few tips to help you shave a little weight off and continue on your own journey to health and wellness. (Note: this information is based on someone wanting to shed some unwanted 'extras' in a certain time period).

1. Stick to one serving of cereal. For most people, a typical pour of breakfast cereal is equal to two servings. If you're trying to lose weight, trim calories by accurately measuring one serving into your bowl (usually that means ¾ - 1 cup, however, cereal serving sizes vary so you must regularly check the package labeling on your favorite brands and varieties).

For those who eat a daily bowl of breakfast cereal, follow my lead, and you'll save about 150 calories by cutting back on cereal and at least 50 calories in extra milk every morning. That's 8,400 calories saved and 2.5 pounds lost at the end of six weeks!

2. Skip your late night snack. We all feel the need to munch in the evening, and although a p.m. snack can be perfectly appropriate (diet-friendly p.m. snacks should not exceed 150 calories), for many people, the evening tends to be the time of day we blow it on calorie overload - comfort food central; ice cream, cookies, potato chips, popcorn and more!

On average, people gobble down way more than 250 calories after 8 p.m. Exercise some willpower and skip your nighttime snack altogether. Sip an herbal tea, floss/brush your teeth and close down the kitchen for the evening. You'll save at least 250 calories each day and after six weeks, you'll have cut 10,500 calories and dropped three whole pounds!

3. Scratch the butter/margarine. Cut out a total of one tablespoon of regular butter or margarine from your toast, veggies, potatoes, dinner rolls, etc. each day. At 100 calories per tablespoon, you'll save 4,200 calories and drop over one pound in six weeks. What if you can't give up the butter or margarine? At least switch to a soft tub spread that says "reduced fat" and "trans-fat free" on the label - it's half the calories of the full fat versions, so you'll still drop over ½ pound.

4. Lose the mayo and cheese on your sandwich Omit the slice of cheese and mayonnaise on your sandwich (use mustard instead - only five calories per teaspoon) and you'll save about 200 calories per sandwich. If you eat a sandwich a day, you'll end up saving 8,400 calories and find yourself 2.5 pounds lighter after just six weeks.

5. Delete the extras: It's amazing how much extra food we can munch on without realizing it - a grab of this/that off our kid's plate, an extra packet of ketchup or salad dressing, a bite of your co-worker's dessert... before you know it, you've consumed an extra 800 calories!

Be super mindful and delete the "extras" and you'll be able to trim a significant amount of calories off your weekly total. Also, pay attention to your beverages (alcohol included) - as well as what's going into your coffee and tea. By trimming 1000 extra calories off each week (about 150 per day), you'll save a total of 6000 calories and drop 1.75 pounds at the end of six weeks!

Interesting stuff I have to say.....makes you think about that late night treat or the extra shake of the cereal box doesn't it....

Take care and stay well.

Susan

Another Day, Another Celebration!

After reading Susan’s blog yesterday, which I loved, I was inspired to follow her lead and share a few thoughts of my own.

The past few weeks have been eventful for our family, they have been weeks full of celebration of marriage, life, death (yes, even in death we can celebrate), new friendships and so much more. I must say I feel full and extremely rich and thankful to be exactly where I am right now in time.

Here’s a quick glace at what we’ve been celebrating:

• Four weeks ago I stood in front of family and friends and dedicated my life to the man of my dreams…..I got hitched and so far I love every moment of it.

• Two weeks ago I, with my family, celebrated my 22nd year of life. Birthday’s are always worth celebrating!

• This past Friday we celebrated my mum’s 50th year of life. She’s so excited and happy she keeps telling us she has at least 40 more good years under her belt.

• Sadly on the day of my birthday we were notified of my great uncles death so today I, again along with my family and friends, will celebrate his life and all that he was and did in this world.

• Tomorrow we will celebrate my parents 30th year of marriage. In this day and age this is a celebration that sadly not all will experience. We plan to ‘say it loud and say it proud’. They have made it and chose to keep going even when it was hard. For this I am forever grateful and I honor them for honoring their commitment to each other and to their three children who admire them.

These are the things we are celebrating. I'm learning more and more that everyday is precious. Every second of my life is to be cherished and used wisely. I remember in high school one of my favorite quotes was (and I can’t remember who said it) "a minute spent angry is 60 seconds of wasted happiness". How true...

I'm realizing that there is no benefit in holding grudges, getting revenge, being offended or being the one with the last, sharp word, it’s simply not worth it. Instead what I’m choosing to do is celebrate and cherish the moments I have. I have resolved to use my time wisely and as thefamilyroom crew always say, “let’s take time to smile, to hug, to give a word of encouragement and to slow down and BE and celebrate each other”.

Catherine Furukawa

PS:
Oh yeah, here’s an example of what I mean….. Today as I said good-bye to my husband he held me in his arms and told me that loved me. I'm so glad we said good-bye like that because we never know what the next moment holds for us. We used our moment well ☺

Food for Thought.....

Below is something that I have read before and recently had it sent to me in an email. I thought I would post it here as a gentle reminder about what truly matters in life. Sit back, relax, pour yourself a cup of tea or coffee, put your feet up and ENJOY this little reminder.

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer).

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more 'I love you's' More 'I'm sorry's.'
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it . live it and never give it back.

SO PLEASE EVERYONE LET'S STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!
Don't worry about who doesn't like you , who has more, or who's doing what . Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us and simply enjoy the days we've been given.

Susan

Cook Yourself Thin

Hi everyone

Well as many of you know I love to eat. I like all kids of food and don’t believe in dieting. However in keeping with all things yum, I have recently become a convert of a UK show called ‘Cook Yourself Thin’. There are four 30-something spunky girls who are either chefs or foodies and who show everyday women how to drop a dress size by tweaking the stuff they love to eat.  They also test popular diet products and bust the fake ones....very interesting!

If I miss the show, for whatever reason, I get inspired by their website which has loads of recipes that will inspire all of us to eat well and look after our bodies.  Click on the link below to check the site out.

http://www.channel4.com/food/on-tv/cook-yourself-thin/

The basic idea of the show is that you eat the stuff you love but these girls help find a way to use less fat, salt and sugar and reduce the overall calories ~ sounds good doesn't it?

Today I have made an amazing chicken soup and a great lemon cake which uses 2 whole lemons, boiled and smooshed, instead of butter.  Creamy is my favourite texture and butter would have to be one of weaknesses (yum all the way!) but these girls show you lots of healthy ways to get the texture and tastes that you love without as many calories.

The fact is that dieting is tedious and boring and doesn’t work in the long term ~ we've all tried something.  Statistics tell us that we will inevitably revert back to our eating habits that are engrained and the weight goes back on.  So, perhaps taking what we like to eat and making it better for us is the way to go to improve our health and shed a few pounds along the way.

Obviously moving is another key and we need to consume less and move more, but why not think about foods you love and think about how you could make some small changes that could make a big difference?  This approach works equally as well with the kids and we will share some familyroom secrets about this in coming posts....stay tuned.

Check the girls out either on TV or on the net, it’s a bit of fun….

Lv Jane

Life Without Seat Belts ~ Philip Sohn

Well everyone it has finally happened!!! After much asking, encouraging and prodding thefamilyroom BOYS have finally stepped up to the plate. By that I mean my hubby Philip and Belinda's hubby Mark have, in one week, both given me articles for the blog. 

This is extremely exciting because for quite sometime now many of you loyal friends have been asking for something for the men. Well, here it is and interestingly enough it's not just for the men, the girls will enjoy their articles as well.  So sit back, relax and enjoy the first of (hopefully) many more articles from the BOYS!

Susan 

Life Without Seat Belts

I'm old enough to remember: laying in the back window shelf...yup, where the speakers are behind the rear seats. Usually I would look up at the sky and occassionally, get car sick looking back at the vehicle following us.

Yes I know Princess Di would probably have survived, if she were wearing her seat belt, and Lord knows how many lives have been saved since the advent of mandatory seat belts.

I have a couple of pet hates: the big food/big pharma/big insurance conspiracy, but namely big insurance. I really don't like insurance companies. For those involved in that industry, or have benefitted from having insurance, I don't intentionally want to offend you.

Now insurance feeds off fear. ie. what if negative scenario analysis. Flood, fire, accident......acts of God. Where maiming gets you more money than dying........where they calculate odds to do with your life/death issues.

Yes, seat belts save lives. And your insurance is lower because of them......

But remember life without seat belts? Unbridled, carefree. Think about it. A life without fear. Full of hope. Full of faith. Full of peace.

Philip

Life as it comes.... An email from a friend

I received this email the other day and I thought I would share it with all of you (I asked for permission of course). As the title says, this emails exemplifies ‘life as it comes’. The email is from Michaela, whom you all know and love, to her friends and family, simply filling them in on life and asking her community to step up when life gets hard.

Enjoy.

Susan

Email from Michaela to friends and family:

I hope this email finds you safe, happy and well.

Much ado about everything has been happening since the last update that I thought I'd share a little with you all so you can join our family in prayer. I'll make this a quick one.

Please pray for my younger sister who, for those who don't know, is living in the UK and has just had a new baby. My sister took ill the other day was rushed to hospital were, from what we gather, was in a semi-comatose state for 3 days and still has the doctors baffled as to why. She has come out of the woods (thank God) and is now responsive, but I would really appreciate your ongoing prayer for her, her husband and their three children for the weeks ahead when she will be in recovery. A BIG thanks to Evangeline’s brother and sister-in-law who kindly travelled from London to stay for a couple of days to help Luke out with things at home. Their five year old handled things fine, but their two year old lost the plot for a while and will hopefully be much better now knowing that mummy will be home soon. Their newborn was settled after realising that the bottle is now her new best friend. My brother-in-law is SUCH a good husband and father. Keep him in your thoughts and pray he will be strengthened during this time.

Just quickly, last week my 13 year old daughter Mannie flew up to Sydney to stay with my parents where she had a wonderful time terrorising Rocky (my youngest brother), playing with the last remaining chicken Blacky (Hero, Will's dog made a light meal of the other two Snowy and Teryaki and ate alfresco right outside the back door for the kids to see...so considerate of him!) and visiting various friends and relatives. She told me upon arrival back in windy Melbourne that she didn't have enough time to squeeze in all that she wanted to do and see all the people she had listed...oh the life of a traveller...a teenage traveller at that! Thank you to everyone who managed to pop in and spend some time with Mannie, she really misses everyone, as family and friends are everything to her. She was also grateful to live the life of a jetsetter for a week. Heaven help me when she’s 18 and wants to tour the world with her girlfriends!

Melbourne had gale force winds last Wednesday and many neighbouring suburbs are still blacked out. We were spared which is just as well because I just bought a fresh tub of chocolate ice cream! With the weather so bad I panicked slightly as that was the day Mannie flew in. She was fine when I FINALLY reached her. What should have been a 30min trip took 2.5hours as many roads were closed due to accidents. Once I got to the airport and was told Mannie was not on her flight and they had no record of her flying as an unaccompanied minor. Of course after getting her to search another few hundred times, I burst into tears with my brother on the other end of my frantic phone call trying to calm me down and help me figure out what the mix-up was. Basically the lady at check-in in Sydney told her she didn't need to worry about giving her the already filled in paperwork, so she was never registered as an unaccompanied minor. So you can see how after being so late I kinda lost it. That aside I am happy to have my baby back home nestled safely into our cute little house that is currently being showered with autumn leaves...a truly gorgeous sight. Autumn being my favourite season will be captured on our new camera so I can email you visual updates of our adventures.

For all those who love Thai, I have discovered the best Thai food in Australia at a dinky little restaurant called The King & I, which is close to home. For the rest of you who don't really care, try not to be jealous that Koko Black is not yet in Sydney or anywhere else that I know of. It is a Belgium chocolate and coffee house which makes whatever you’re gourmet choice of coffee and the like taste like drive through decaf.

I'll sign off now. Thanks to all who have already committed to pray for my sister and thanks to all who'll begin. Knowing that you’re all spread across the world, but still a phone call or an email away helps during the rough patches.

Love to all,
Michaela.

The Dining Table

Over the past few years my parents have been thinking about moving from their farm into town. The conversation has progressed substantially, they have bought the house in town and this transition is slowly becoming a reality. Like many of you reading, you have gone down this road and made this transition, so you know exactly where I/we are right now. In preparation for this move the time has come for us kids to start picking and choosing things from the farm that we want ~ not an easy task that’s for sure.

I have thought long and hard about what it is that I want, what piece of the farm can I take with me that will allow me to remain close and connected to a place that saw me grow from a four year old pig-tailed little girl into a thirty-something woman? There are many things I have decided I would like however there is one thing that has stuck in my mind and I have finally I decided to ask for it. What is it you ask? The kitchen table!

You may think the kitchen table a strange request, however you must understand that in our house, like many of yours I’m sure, the kitchen table is the centre of so much, it’s almost like the central nervous system of the home. So much has happened and still happens around that table, so many hours of conversation whether it is the early morning coffee with the neighbors, warm winter breakfasts, dad’s 12pm lunch or the countless dinners that have been shared or maybe it’s the late night heart to hearts. Whatever the case may be our kitchen table has and continues to host much laughter, some tears, always great food, many jokes and so much more.

Over the years I have learned that a kitchen table isn’t simply wood and varnish rather it is like a giant memory box. The kitchen table is the gathering spot where life is shared, where dreams are realized, where vision is cast and where laughter can be heard. Sadly I see many new homes being built with no kitchen and no space for a kitchen table, this is a trend in the big cities that I see has not yet hit small town Saskatchewan and I hope it never does. This ‘new way’ of living is about eating out or individual eating in your bedroom in front of the computer or television. A travesty indeed.

There is something significant about kitchen/dining tables and as I look through history I see that through feasting and dining cultures come together. There is strength in breaking bread together as families and as communities. I think about Jesus and the last supper and the fact that it was shared at a table. I find it interesting that Jesus could have chosen anywhere for this significant act to occur yet he chose the table to share such an important moment. Through this one act I have to believe that there is a message to us all. Tables are sacred places. They are a place where we can come together to talk about the hard things, to relax and enjoy each other’s company, to communicate, to eat and to simply be together.

I would like to encourage you to use your dining table to it’s full potential. Through our work with thefamilyroom I have seen countless families come together, broken hearts mended and so much more simply through sitting at the table together, sharing a meal and getting back to what really matters. I find it interesting that we are designed to enjoy food more than once a day, we are designed to stop, sit and replenish so why not start making this a critical part of our family schedules.

If you haven’t enjoyed a meal together at the family table for awhile I would like to encourage you to dust off the table, let everyone know that dinner is on at 6pm, prepare a family favorite and watch everyone enjoy each others company. I know you will be amazed. If you find yourself alone and without family then I encourage you to extend yourself and invite someone to your table. If gathering at the table is something you do regularly then please keep it up and why not invite someone over and share the time together.

As many of you know I live away from family and have done so for many years now, this being the case, there is one thing I know for sure, if I call at dinner time I know I will always get an answer and if it’s a party or special occasion, and everyone’s home but me, as the phone is being passed around I know exactly where everyone will be sitting - being able to do this warms my soul and the simplicity of this allows me a feeling of everything being well with the world.

To conclude I am happy to report that my parents have said I can have the old kitchen table that still holds the chip that I etched out one warm summer day in 1978. I know that as the years continue and as life changes I will hear the voices of my family and friends simply by sitting at that table and allowing the richness and memories flood my mind. Let me encourage you to use your tables and remember to always put an extra potato in the pot or rice in the cooker and leave room to squeeze one more in just in case someone turns up at dinner time.

HAPPY EASTER....

Enjoy your time with family, eat lots of chocolate (if you're allowed) and remember to have fun and laugh lots.  

Keep it real and keep it simple.

Much love,

thefamilyroom crew

The Power of Your Story

Easter is creeping up on us quickly with the threat of enough chocolate eggs to fill a driveway. It is an exciting time for kids and adults alike with the promise of family gatherings and festivities over the short break.

Not only does this time of year herald the Easter Bunny and his diabetic inducing treats, but it also boasts one of the world’s most famous life stories of sacrifice and forgiveness. A story that has changed the lives of so many.

This started me thinking of the stories we all share along our journey that have or will bring help, empathy and understanding to so many around and beyond us. How many books have we read that give us a glimpse of how life panned out for others entailing their personal accounts of heartache, trials, support, overcoming and achievement?

Last night I was at a work function and the conversation turned to around to the story of my adoption and the sacrificial work of my parents who have been fostering children for nearly 50 years. It was amazing to hear the questions that spilled out, the interest that filled the room, the compassion that was shown and the stories that followed. What seems like an everyday run of the mill existence is new, interesting and often inspiring to someone else. I have personally felt more understood, challenged and inspired just by listening to the life stories my friends have bravely shared over the years.

Never underestimate the power of your story. As my mum always says, ‘Your trial is not always about you sweetheart, you never know who will need to hear about this in the future.’ Keeping that in mind, it helps put things into perspective and think outside myself.

Without a publisher or the talent of a wordsmith, all we need to do is open our mouths or in the Family Room way, write a blog. EVERYONE has a story and is worth the read. And the impact it could potentially have on someone going through a similar experience is priceless.

Have a brilliant Easter and listen to someone’s story and, if you’re feeling courageous enough, share yours!

Michaela.

TOCOPHOBIA

Hi everyone. I hope you are all well.

TOCOPHOBIA…… I wonder if any of you know what that word means. It’s definitely an interesting one.

I recently read an article in the Sunday paper about a disorder called “tocophobia”. According to the article many women suffer from it. What is it? Tocophobia is defined as “an abnormal and persistent fear of childbirth.”

In the article the author spoke of her desire to be a mother and her debilitating anxiety as she thought of the “damage” childbirth would do. Her fears were confirmed by friends who opening and rather graphically shared their colourful experiences. We have all been in those situations, hearing as some people call it, the war stories of pregnancy and childbirth.

As a midwife and a mother I can see the complexity of the situation. I am reminded once again that the way that we share our birth stories can impact those in our company. I can’t stress how important it is to keep the feelings and futures of those around us in mind as we share. Sadly, my 9-year-old daughter says she doesn’t want to have babies because it hurts too much. I know I am responsible for forming this opinion. It is a wake up call for me. I hope and pray that as I change the way I communicate about childbirth I can instill confidence in her and her approach to pregnancy and childbirth.

Annie

Welcome to thefamilyroom on Youtube

Lonely World - Part Two

After receiving so many emails from people about the last article 'Lonely World' I decided I needed to do a part two. Can I say that I would love it if you would convert your emails into comments on the blog itself. Although I do enjoy the emails I can tell you that many people would be encouraged and challenged by the comments you make to me personally.

I received and overwhelming response to the article and found that most people are willing to step out a little further and try and reach people. The challenge seems to be time and confidence. So, with this in mind I am going to try and give you a few tips on how to overcome these two challenges.

Time:
This is something thefamilyroom girls discuss regularly and it is something that most people grapple with. How do you find TIME to do what you need to do? In our busy schedules how do you carve out space for yourself, let alone space for someone else? Well friends, to have time you have to make time. I strongly suggest (as I have before) journal what your week looks like. Do it like you would a food diary (we've all had one of those at one time or another) if you will. Write everything down for an entire week. At the end of a week look at what you've accomplished and how much time you spent doing everything. Then, at the beginning of the following week set some goals, things that need to happen and again journal your week. At then end of that week, sit down and access.

In doing this simple exercise I'm confident you, like myself, will find time. You will realise that there are somethings you are doing that you don't need to, some you are taking to much time doing them, etc., etc., etc. Before you know it you will have found time to do something different and you will be using your time much more effectively.

This is a great exercise to do not only for yourself but for your family as a whole. You can also use it to help those friends whom you know are struggling with time.

Confidence:
This one is simple. Put one foot in front of the other and just make it happen. Do it with fear and trembling if you need to, just do it.
If you're inviting someone over for dinner cook something you know really well. You really don't need to turn into Martha Stewart overnight!!! People just want to be included, they aren't looking for a 5-star performance or a performance at all, they are simply looking for a sense of belonging and significance.
So, keep it simple. We've had some of our best parties or get together(s) simply by scouring the pantry and kitchen and pulling a meal together.
The main ingredients you will need: an open door, laughter and an interest in someone else.

You may be reading this saying, "this is easy for you, you're not me I don't know how to do this." To that I will remind you that I too had to start somewhere and put one foot in front of the other. You can do this and it's amazing how the simplest of things can make the biggest difference. Dare to be different and make a difference in someone else's life.

Susan J. Sohn

ps - remember if you need food ideas check out our archives for great, simple, familyroom tried and true recipes.
xoxo

A Lonely World

As most of you know, our family have been in LA for the last few months. Having grown up in Canada, lived in Hong Kong and Sydney, Australia I consider myself to have lived in some of the most amazing places in the world, especially when it comes to community and hospitality. I now find myself in what they call the city of Angels and I have to believe it's called that because the need for Angels here is so huge. This is a big, lonely city and from what I can see, a city that has become hard and callous towards the human heart and emotions.

Yesterday I sat at my son's basketball game and chatted with a gentle, kind hearted father of one of the boys on the opposing team, we new each other because we were on the same soccer team last season. This nice man hails from Bombay, India and has been in LA for the past 12 years. In between our air punching and team chants and individual hoorays, we found space to have an incredible conversation. During our conversation he asked me what it was that I did; at which point I told him about thefamilyroom. He was extremely interested and began asking questions. As I answered, he asked more and finally began to share about his own life. With tears in his eyes he told me how his marriage was an arranged marriage and after years of trying to make it work, he found the challenge was maybe more than he could take. He told me that he had known his wife for all of 1 month before they wed. Our discussion was varied and included that of arranged marriages vs what he called ‘marriages of love’, we covered a great deal during that 60 minute game. He shared with me about living in LA and how different it was to India and how lonely he and his family were, how community just wasn't anything like he knew or loved. I could relate and understand. This conversation caused me to think and stirred me to write.

Whether you find yourself in a big city, medium sized city or small town and whether you yourself are lonely please understand that there are lonely people everywhere. According to a recent Harvard Study loneliness, which can lead to extreme depression, is becoming one of the top killers in society today. It's sad to think that we, as people, have become so distant from one another, especially when we know we were created to be in relationship and that our inner most being craves connectivity.

I would like to encourage you today, as we always do through thefamilyroom, to extend yourself. Invite someone over for dinner or out for coffee, open your hearts and doors and allow people in. Let’s dare to be different, dare to be known as people of kindness and generosity, allow your homes to be the homes on the street that people want to come to. Allow your home to be a light in a world where darkness, sadness and loneliness seem to be on the increase.

Through my conversation at the basketball game this man came to understand that I have a love for Indian food that stems from my childhood and amazing family friends. He learned that I enjoy cooking Indian food and that I'm not afraid to try anything. Interestingly enough, as I have said in the past, it is the dining table and food that will bring this man, his family and hopefully ours together and perhaps for one night their loneliness will be forgotten and replaced by a feeling of belonging, connectivity and community.

Imagine what the world would be like if we all cared just a little more.

Susan