Hi everyone. I hope you are all well.
TOCOPHOBIA…… I wonder if any of you know what that word means. It’s definitely an interesting one.
I recently read an article in the Sunday paper about a disorder called “tocophobia”. According to the article many women suffer from it. What is it? Tocophobia is defined as “an abnormal and persistent fear of childbirth.”
In the article the author spoke of her desire to be a mother and her debilitating anxiety as she thought of the “damage” childbirth would do. Her fears were confirmed by friends who opening and rather graphically shared their colourful experiences. We have all been in those situations, hearing as some people call it, the war stories of pregnancy and childbirth.
As a midwife and a mother I can see the complexity of the situation. I am reminded once again that the way that we share our birth stories can impact those in our company. I can’t stress how important it is to keep the feelings and futures of those around us in mind as we share. Sadly, my 9-year-old daughter says she doesn’t want to have babies because it hurts too much. I know I am responsible for forming this opinion. It is a wake up call for me. I hope and pray that as I change the way I communicate about childbirth I can instill confidence in her and her approach to pregnancy and childbirth.
Annie
8 comments:
Annie,
My mum has always told me that having her wisdom teeth pulled was more painful then childbirth. My wisdom teeth experience was very painful, so I'm hoping that my mum's experience with childbirth is hereditary :)
On the other hand, before my mum had me, she had a few miscarriages, plus a couple babies who had health disorders and passed away shortly after birth (see my previous blog about my brother Scott titled 'Big Brother' from Nov. 07). My fear with being pregnant has nothing to do with the physical pain of it, rather then emotional pain if something goes wrong.
Thankfully I have surrounded myself with a company of women who have joined me with much hope that my pregnancies will be smooth. I think that's the key...I've heard the quote "show me your friends & I'll show you your future." Ladies, let's be women who are hopeful & positive, & let's make sure we surround ourselves with women who are the same!
~cj
Great words CJ. Thanks
Annie
My mum has a friend that never had children because she had heard so many 'war stories'. Sad really.
Personally I LOVED childbirth and would go there in a heartbeat if I could. There's something amazing about labour and delivery, it's almost as if time stands still. With all three births I had my hubby and mother with me and it was perfect. I always tell people it's called labour for a reason, it's hard work, however there is an end to it all. Truly I may sound odd but I honestly love delivering babies and there is a sad part of my heart because I know that season for me is over. I'm passing the baton so CJ it's your turn. You go girl!
Sorry that comment above was from me...Susan. Forgot to put my name on.
sjs
Thanks for passing the baton Susan, I feel honored.
~cj
Susan,
I agree with you. Giving birth is like you jump of the spinning planet for a couple of hours and land again, this time with a new life in your arms. I must say that each time I have given birth it has increased my snese of what it is I am capable of. As you know two of our children were born at home "a la naturale"! I wouldn/t change anthing if I had my time over when it comes to my birth experiences. CJ, I'm handing MY baton over to you too!!!
that was me- Annie x
I am a woman who chose not to have children because I am tokophobic and I heard too many war stories, too. I have never seen or heard about a birth I would want to experience. Even the so-called good ones, the "crunchy" ones, are just awful. I wanted a child very much, but I could never damage my body in pregnancy and childbirth. It caused quite a bit of trouble in my life because I wouldn't have a baby, but since I couldn't have a general anesthesia csection with someone at home to take care of me and the baby at first, I just didn't do it. I wanted a baby and now I am too old, perimenopausal. Birth is not for everybody.
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