Sunday, March 02, 2008

A Lonely World

As most of you know, our family have been in LA for the last few months. Having grown up in Canada, lived in Hong Kong and Sydney, Australia I consider myself to have lived in some of the most amazing places in the world, especially when it comes to community and hospitality. I now find myself in what they call the city of Angels and I have to believe it's called that because the need for Angels here is so huge. This is a big, lonely city and from what I can see, a city that has become hard and callous towards the human heart and emotions.

Yesterday I sat at my son's basketball game and chatted with a gentle, kind hearted father of one of the boys on the opposing team, we new each other because we were on the same soccer team last season. This nice man hails from Bombay, India and has been in LA for the past 12 years. In between our air punching and team chants and individual hoorays, we found space to have an incredible conversation. During our conversation he asked me what it was that I did; at which point I told him about thefamilyroom. He was extremely interested and began asking questions. As I answered, he asked more and finally began to share about his own life. With tears in his eyes he told me how his marriage was an arranged marriage and after years of trying to make it work, he found the challenge was maybe more than he could take. He told me that he had known his wife for all of 1 month before they wed. Our discussion was varied and included that of arranged marriages vs what he called ‘marriages of love’, we covered a great deal during that 60 minute game. He shared with me about living in LA and how different it was to India and how lonely he and his family were, how community just wasn't anything like he knew or loved. I could relate and understand. This conversation caused me to think and stirred me to write.

Whether you find yourself in a big city, medium sized city or small town and whether you yourself are lonely please understand that there are lonely people everywhere. According to a recent Harvard Study loneliness, which can lead to extreme depression, is becoming one of the top killers in society today. It's sad to think that we, as people, have become so distant from one another, especially when we know we were created to be in relationship and that our inner most being craves connectivity.

I would like to encourage you today, as we always do through thefamilyroom, to extend yourself. Invite someone over for dinner or out for coffee, open your hearts and doors and allow people in. Let’s dare to be different, dare to be known as people of kindness and generosity, allow your homes to be the homes on the street that people want to come to. Allow your home to be a light in a world where darkness, sadness and loneliness seem to be on the increase.

Through my conversation at the basketball game this man came to understand that I have a love for Indian food that stems from my childhood and amazing family friends. He learned that I enjoy cooking Indian food and that I'm not afraid to try anything. Interestingly enough, as I have said in the past, it is the dining table and food that will bring this man, his family and hopefully ours together and perhaps for one night their loneliness will be forgotten and replaced by a feeling of belonging, connectivity and community.

Imagine what the world would be like if we all cared just a little more.

Susan

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Susan,
I'm dumbfounded, sad and hopeful all at once reading this.
My tears are for those with aching hearts out there. I agree with you, we need to be the smile at the game, in the queue at the grocery store or at school.

Annie

Anonymous said...

That was a great read and a wake up call. It's so easy to say "we should have those people over" but we never get around to it.
I will be looking for more opportunities.
Sam.

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