First tough life lesson

We recently moved across Canada, to a new home and a new life to be closer to family. I sensed my son, who was usually a friendly, good-natured boy, was having some issues at his new school. He didn’t seem to want to play outside in the morning and was often the last one out at the end of the day. Twice he has come home with a hurt leg and once he has cut his lip.

He was not volunteering any information when I asked about his day, so I decided the best time to get him to open up about what was happening would be at bedtime. It's when we are closest. It is a time of story-telling, snuggling and safety.

On this particular night, I created a story about a little boy named Ed, who was much like my son. The story went like this …

“Ed was a little boy in grade two who loved playing soccer (just like my son) and he was really good at math (just like my son). He had recently moved to a new school and was feeling ….”
Here I paused and pretended to think. My son quickly interjected with “left out?”.
“Yes,” I continued, “He felt left out. And what do you think Ed’s favourite thing about school was?”
“Probably gym,” replied my son eagerly.
“Oh yes, you are right,” I replied and continued, “And what do you think he liked least?”
“Recess,” replied my son without hesitation.

Now that shocked me and broke my heart because up until this point, my son had always made friends easily and loved to play at recess. As the story unfolded, I found out that there were a couple of bigger kids who were picking on him. The boys would push him or kick him when the teachers weren’t looking. And he was scared to go out to play.

Needless to say, I did not sleep well that night, with thoughts of home-schooling and other alternatives racing through my head.

But the next day, I went in and talked to the principal, who is now aware of the problem and has talked to the two bullies, who seem to be keeping their hands to themselves. As well, with a little coaching, my son has mustered up his courage and approached some other kids in the school yard and made some new friends. He also confronted one of the big boys himself and told him that he didn’t like it when he hurt him.

Although the problem may arise in the future, I am proud of my son for working his way through his first tough life lesson, and more importantly, he is proud of himself.

In the meantime, my son’s new favourite bedtime story is the one about Ed, who each night, continues to overcome bullies, make new friends, and discover his own strengths and talents.

Rebecca