The Richness of Tradition

Well friends, Christmas is just around the corner and what a special time of year it is. I love the carols, the storefront displays, the crisp feeling of excitement in the air and the smell of Christmas baking in our homes.

For our family, we have a number of traditions that we have either adopted or established ourselves. One of those traditions is our Tree Decorating Night. This is always done on the first Friday in December and it’s a night that we all look forward to. Friends and family know about this night in our home and they know that our door is always open.

On this night, we all take part. Philip is the lighting and music man, Sophia is head designer, Gabriel is creative consult and wee Ella is a very able assistant to all. My role is catering, dance co-ordinator and accident control (baubles breaking, decorations falling apart). We all hold very specific and important roles and we take our responsibilities very seriously.

As we work, we talk about the decorations, where they have come from and the stories that go with them (just another little tradition, we buy a Christmas decoration when we travel so that our tree truly has a global theme). We laugh, we eat whatever it is we have all agreed upon prior to the night, we talk and we simply enjoy coming together, relaxing, reflecting on the year and being in the moment as family. In addition to the laughter, there is always music, carols are ringing throughout the house and we push the chairs aside and we dance.

This year, I taught the kids how to polka. There is one album that is played in our home from December 1 through to January 2 and it happens to be one of my favourites. The kids don’t love this album (yet), but have come to know that it is part of our tradition. It’s the Kenny & Dolly Once Upon a Christmas album. I love it. I play it loud and I play it proud. So, if you find yourself anywhere near the Sohn home during the holidays, just know that Kenny and Dolly will be right here with us.

I believe that tradition is part of the fibre that keeps our families strong and rich. Tradition is part of the root system of a family and it’s a necessary ingredient. Friends, celebrate your traditions, don’t let them go by the wayside because you’re busy, tired or just don’t see the point. When we look at a tree or a beautiful flower, we don’t get the opportunity to see the root system below, rather we just marvel at the beauty in front of us. Family is like that. I would suggest that the strong families you see have traditions that they hold tight.

I know that as my children grow and as they eventually leave the nest, our Tree Decorating Night will be one that they will miss. I know that on the first Friday of December, if they are near, they will be at home, if they are far, I know our phone will ring and their hearts will be in our living room. I also know that as the years progress, it will be them requesting Kenny and Dolly. I know that this is only a night, however through this one night, we are giving them stability, strength for the journey and a confidence that is deep within their being.

What are your family traditions? I’ve shared just one of ours with you and there are many more. As I said, some we have adopted from our families and some we have established on our own. I encourage you to create in your home a strong root system through tradition. Create something that is unique to your family and know that you are building a great foundation. Whether you are a young family, further along the journey or a new, blended family, carve out tradition and watch the richness unfold.

For my Mum and Auntie Myrna know that where ever we are for Christmas, there is always red and green jello on the table – a great a tradition we have adopted and so have many of our cousins. Thanks for being such great women of tradition and passing so much on to all of us. You are greatly appreciated and loved.

Susan

The Reality of Christmas

Well friends, the festive season is in front of us. The baking has started, the parties are underway, well-wrapped gifts are finding their way under the tree and that sense of wonder and excitement is in the air.

Christmas is that one time of the year when somehow we all find it within ourselves to lay aside external pressures and simply relax and enjoy. This year is no exception. With the economy in turmoil and (in Canada) our political situation unstable, the celebration of the birth of one child is able to still our hearts, cause us to reflect and show gratitude and love in a way that we, for whatever reason, reserve for this one season every year.

I was thinking about Christmas and the family side of the holidays. Sadly, family can be the cause of some of the strongest pain we experience. Unresolved issues, unforgiveness and hurt can take the place of joy, happiness and great memories. It has been said that when you have been hurt or wronged by someone close, walking through the pain can feel almost impossible. This, coupled with the cheery, celebratory side of Christmas, can turn what should be a happy time into something dreaded.

Bearing this in mind, together with my ever-hopeful disposition, I have a suggestion. This Christmas, why not make the decision to give a gift that will last a lifetime. That is the gift of choosing the relationship rather than the offence, the pain or the hurt. The relationship is much more valuable than holding onto and keeping track of the other stuff. Give the gift of forgiveness. It might be the most costly gift but it is one that will last a lifetime and it is a gift that only you can give.

Choose the relationship over the pain and the offence. I say this because I have chosen this year to make right what was once wrong in one of my family relationships. I took a risk and a step in the right direction; I humbled myself and extended my hand. A decision and a choice I am not regretting. I chose relationship over the past and stuff that had happened. You too can do it and Christmas opens the door for all of us to extend more than a well-wrapped gift. An extended hand of forgiveness and kindness – showing that the past is the past – is a gift worth giving and one that won’t empty your wallet.

As you make your Christmas preparations, consider your relationships and do whatever it takes to make right that which needs attention. Choose the relationship! Remember to drink some eggnog, enjoy your Christmas goodies, laugh lots and celebrate Christmas in the fullness of family, friends and faith this year.

Susan

The Gift of Time

You've read articles I've written discussing time and the age old question of quality vs quantity. I remain convinced that it isn't one or the other, rather it's a combination of both that gives richness to relationships.

The other night, my eldest daughter was at dance, my youngest daughter, Ella, had fallen asleep in the car, which left my seven-year-old son, Gabriel, and I with 1.5 hours on our hands. We decided to let Ella continue sleeping in her stroller while we enjoyed an early dinner together, just the two of us. A good decision indeed.

The occasional interruption from the waitress was my only distraction. Gabriel had my attention 100%. I was fascinated to learn about what was truly was going on in his little life. He shared about the fun stuff, the not so fun, the questions, a few confessions of a little harmless mischief and his overall excitement about life. I was gobbling up every moment and loved listening to him. My husband and I make it a priority to spend one-on-one time with all three of our children. This gives us the opportunity to really hear them and to let them know they are being heard. I think it's important to give each child regular, undivided attention. It's the only way to get a full understanding of what's really going on in their lives.

Our conversation moved from school to friends, to sport, to family and then bounced to the bigger picture of life. Remember, my son is only seven years old. He's well travelled for a young man, he enjoys reading and he loves to explore and has an adventurous spirit. As he was sharing his life hopes and curiosities, he asked me: "Mummy, what do you think I was born to be?"

His question caught me by surprise. I looked at him and wondered what must be going on in that mind of his. I marvelled at his question. He wasn't wondering what he would do, rather he was wondering who he would BE in this world. Before I could answer, he continued by saying: "I wonder what God wants of me." You can imagine the fullness in my heart as I listened intently to my child asking questions beyond his years.

I responded by saying: "Gabriel, if I know one thing, I know that there is a plan and purpose for your life. I know that you were born to do something amazing on this planet my son. Listen with your heart, be moved by compassion, love deeply and stay true to the things you know are right."

Did my answer suffice? I'm not sure. Was it a bigger answer than expected? Probably, but the door for further conversation has now been opened. I didn't miss the moment. We were enjoying both quality and quantity time together, allowing us to connect on a deeper level than the day-to-day rush we all experience.

We continued chatting and devouring the yummy food we had ordered. We began to talk about places we would like to go and things we would like do. I asked him where he would go if he could choose to go anywhere. I was expecting Disney World or somewhere in search of anything Star Wars related. Instead his response: "Heaven. I'd like to introduce myself to God. I know he already knows me, but I'd just like to let him know I'm here and happy to be here. It's just somewhere I'd like to visit and then come back. I just want to see."

My breath was once again taken away and, again, before I could respond, he said: "I'd also like to go to Holland, my friend told me about a cheese festival they have and it sounds really neat." I laughed and said: "Both sound great." The mind of a seven-year-old boy can never be underestimated.

Our children are thinking about things beyond their years. They are exposed to things earlier than we ever were and, more than ever, they need our guidance. They need our listening ear and they are desperate for understanding. Know that if we don't listen, they will find someone else who will. I don't know about you, but I'm not prepared to take that risk and allow someone else access into my children's lives. This job is solely for my husband and I and we choose to make quality and quantity time available to them.

Enjoy your children whatever age they are, and know that they need you even when (at times) they push you away.

Susan

Words for Life

Today, I’d like to write about something that’s been on my mind a lot lately.

Through our work with thefamilyroom, we get the opportunity to be quite involved in families and the dynamics that make up each individual family unit. I’m always fascinated to see and learn how people deal with issues and cope with life. Through our work, we try to help families move from coping and striving to living a family life that is thriving.

Something I have come to know and understand is that within our families (and beyond) we need to start using a few words on a regular basis that will bring healing, forgiveness, peace and so much more. These words have power – power that can diffuse situations, that can change attitudes and that can humble the hardest of hearts and minds. The words of life I’m referring to are I love you and I’m sorry.

Those few words have the ability to evoke emotion within each one of us. Even as we read them in this article, something deep within each one jumped. Imagine what they are able to achieve when spoken out to the appropriate person or situation. Hearing someone tell you that you are loved resonates within your soul. You are reminded that you matter and are cared for. Hearing someone say I’m sorry validates the pain or hurt you may feel, and then stepping from those words into forgiveness does so much more. Not a lot of work, but choices to be made.

These are very powerful and necessary words that need to be used within our families. Through these words, broken or damaged relationships can be restored, however it does require a humbling and softening within to reach a point where you can say them. Let’s be people who want and desire wholeness in our families, let’s be strong and confident, let’s face our fears, deal with our hurts and pain and put it behind us and move forward together in unity.

I hope my words today have challenged and inspired you to make a change for the better. You won’t regret it, but I know you will miss out if you don’t say I love you and I’m sorry more often.

Enjoy this week and remember to keep smiling.

Susan

A Great Story about FAMILY....things that really matter

Hello everyone I hope you are all well and enjoying life. I posted this story/poem a few months ago and strangely it seems to have found its way back to me. As I read it I thought it would be great to post again as a simple reminder to everyone as we enter a busy season of life – the end of the year, Christmas and the beginning of the next.

Remember those dear to you, those you love and adore and make sure you don’t let ‘life’ get the better of you.

Enjoy and remember we totally believe in each one of you.

Susan xoxo

F A M I L Y

I ran into a stranger as he passed by, "Oh excuse me please" was my reply.

He said, "Please excuse me too; I wasn't watching for you."

We were very polite, this stranger and I. We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told, how we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal, my son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down. "Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken. I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed, God's still small voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use, but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor, you'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you. He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise, you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,

And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed; "Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?" He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree. I picked 'em because they're pretty like you. I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today; I shouldn't have yelled at you that way.” He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway."

I said, "Son, I love you too, and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think?

So what is behind the story?

Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

THEFAMILYROOM Christmas Plan - Week 7

Week 7 Time to Decorate – it’s feeling like Christmas!

• Buy 4 more gifts.
• Send cards for students and gifts for teachers to school.
• If artificial, set up tree and decorate.
• Bake Christmas biscuits with the kids and allow them to decorate and deliver to neighbours.
• Book in your necessary summer beauty treatments.

To buy this week: Bon Bons
Tea Lights
Candles
Table Decorations

©thefamilyroom 2006

This One's for you Barbara....and to all the mum's out there caught up in trying to remember what end of year celebration is happening today at school

Have you ever had one of those mornings when you feel like you’re on top of everything (lunches for the little ones, hubby out the door to work, older kids organised for the day) and then all of a sudden the world around you seems to fall when your child in the back of the car says, “Oh no, it’s the Christmas Assembly today and we’re supposed to be dressed in something Christmassy today!”

As I looked in the rear view mirror I saw my little angel sitting in full school uniform without a stitch of Christmas reference on her person. As I drove down the driveway towards school all I could see is a sea of bobbing Santa hats as the other children made their way to their classes.

I did what all of us would do at that moment…. I said, “honey I’ll be back before assembly starts.” All the while I’m praying that the shop will be open, that they will have something and that I will get back, as I promised, before assembly starts. As I tore out of the school drive (minding the go 40 for me) my mind raced, do I go to the supermarket and hope they have something appropriate or do I go to the new Christmas Lights store up the road hoping that they carried more than lights. I knew that the Lights store probably didn’t open until 9am but I thought it would be my best option……The Lights store won!

As I stood outside the shop hoping that it would open early I saw another car race into the car park. I wondered could she be in the same situation as me? As she made her way to the store window I knew……. I wasn’t not alone! Thank you Barbara for being so normal and loving your children so much.

Our story gets better… In conversation I mentioned to Barbara that I hoped they took card (most places have a $10.00 limit on cards so I had already accepted the fact that I would be leaving the shop with things I didn’t need in order to buy the $3.00 hat I required). To my question Barbara quickly answered, “don’t worry I have cash.” How great is that – I love women on a mission especially when it involves their children.

The store finally opened, Barbara and I rushed in and found what we needed. We
found the cutest headband in the shape of reindeer antlers with bells on them and little brown ears sticking out the side (so cute!). We knew our little ones would LOVE them so we both took one and headed to the counter ready to pay. Barbara confidently handed over her $50.00 bill at which point the shop assistant asked if we had anything smaller. Barbara and I instantly froze thinking, we need these antlers and we don’t have anything less…panic, what were we going to do?

I think the girl behind the counter could tell how desperate we were and being an understanding girl (maybe a mum herself I’m not sure) she politely said, “you can just have them, that’s fine.” Barbara and I were both extremely shocked by her kindness – almost speechless (sadly this kind of stuff doesn’t happen that often anymore) so we emptied our change on the counter leaving her with approximately $2.95 and a HUGE thank you.

We both jumped in our cars and headed back to school. On our way back we found ourselves side-to-side on the road. Barbara was signalling to me that we both needed to breath deep, I was signalling to her how I wished the bus in front of us would make way for two mothers on a mission.

We arrived just as the classes where filing into the auditorium for the assembly. Barbara raced to her daughter’s class and I raced to mine. We made it…and the look on our children’s faces was so worth ever second spent.

As we left the auditorium we gave each other a high five, breathed a sigh of peace and knew exactly what the other was thinking…… We were great mum’s today, yes we both forgot something important but we didn’t let that get us down (I believe that guilt is highly over rated). Rather we changed directions, focussed and made the reindeer antlers a priority.

So to my new friend and mother who is determined to be the best mum for her children – this one’s for you Barbara. You inspired me today and reminded me that all the crazy things I do to make life great for my family is worth it. Thank you for being great and for caring!

Susan xoxo
©thefamilyroom 2006

thefamilyroom Christmas Plan - Week 6

Okay so we have arrived at week 6 and if you have been following the plan you should be well on your way. If you haven't don't stress you can jump on board now and use the next few weeks to get yourself ready for the season.


Week 6 It’s all Under Control – Relax!

• Make sure cameras and videos are in working condition and batteries are charged.
• Send email Christmas letter to overseas family and friends, try and provide an updated fun family photo.
• Buy 4 more gifts.
• Put up external decorations (wreath, lights in trees).
• Book in any hair appointments for the family.
• Clean the bbq.

To buy this week: BBQ supplies (fill gas, matches, extra foil roasting trays)
Foils and plastic wraps
Napkins
Plastic cups and plates for kids
Canned Juice x 2
2 bottles of wine

Have fun preparing and whatever you do make sure you RELAX. You are and will be on top of things.

Susan xoxo ©thefamilyroom 2006

HELP.....What Can I Give the Teacher for Christmas???

Saturday morning I received an email, from a friend, with the subject title being HELP! I quickly opened the email to discover that HELP was required to organise a gift for her daughter’s teacher.

Some of you may find this a strange cry for help but the requirements put on each parent was that the gift must be made or baked….a task my beautiful friend was not up to.

I quickly typed out a few ‘home-made’ gift idea’s that I LOVE in the hope that my suggestions would alleviate the stress in her life or provide her with that simple creative push she desperately needed. I hope you too will enjoy these simple ideas and remember it doesn’t matter if this is for your 16-year-old child’s teacher or your 5 year old’s – these suggestions are gifts that speak volumes – they are made with consideration and much thought and will be enjoyed.

Dare to be different this Christmas and let your gift speak volumes…..Have fun!

Simple Gift Ideas:

➢ A Christmas decoration with your child’s photo in it

➢ Cookie Mix In The Jar - This is super simple. Layer the dry ingredients in the jar with the chocolate chips on the top. Let your child hand write the ingredients and cooking method (remember it doesn’t include the butte or egg make sure you include it in your method).
125 g unsalted butter, softened
1 ¼ cups tightly packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla essence
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 ½ cups plain (all purpose) flour
½ teaspoon baking powder
a pinch of salt
1 ½ cups chocolate bits/chips

➢ Bath Salts – This is super simple as well.
6 parts coarse sea salt
3 parts Epsom salt
1 part baking soda
A few drops of your favourite essential oil
Food colouring for look if you want however leaving it natural is best and looks great in a glass jar with a hand written label and a ribbon (you could even use an old instant coffee jar – make sure it’s washed really well in hot water and the label to TOTALLY removed).

➢ Your favorite Fudge Brownie recipe layered like the choc chip cookies and wrapped in cello with a ribbon and placed in a small tin.

➢ Praline Crunch – this is SUPER easy and it tastes great plus it’s a huge hit with the male teachers:
3/4 cup of sugar
2 Cups Pecan Pieces
3 Tbsp butter
1 tsp vanilla
1/8 tsp ground cinnamon (optional)
Butter baking sheet; set aside. Place sugar in a large skillet. Cook over medium-high heat, shaking pan occasionally, until sugar starts to melt. Reduce heat to low and cook until sugar is golden, stirring as necessary.
Stir in pecans, butter, vanilla, and, if desired, cinnamon. If sugar resolidifies, cook and stir until sugar is melted and nuts are coated.
Spread mixture on prepared baking sheet; cool. Break into small clusters. Store in airtight container in cool, dry place for up to 3 weeks.
To wrap simply use the cellophane and tin again – super easy and looks great!

➢ Your favorite Marinade – this is a great one! Make your favorite marinade, put it in a great jar with a sealed lid and label giving clear instructions (what it works with, etc.). Super easy and really nice.

Well friends there you go a few simple tried and true gifts made with love from your home to another. I hope you use these and enjoy……whatever you do don’t stress you CAN do it!

Susan xoxo ©thefamilyroom 2006

The Computer Trap....how much time are you spending staring at a box?

Hello everyone I hope you've had an excellent weekend. It finally felt like summer in Sydney and I believe it was a wintery day in the Northern Hemisphere. Pure enjoyment for everyone.

I had a great conversation today with one of my closest friends about computers and their place in the family. Following our conversation I thought I'd do a little research and find out just how much trouble computers are causing and I was alarmed.

I discovered (what I already knew to be true) that couples are breaking up due to computer use, children are becoming violent due to the games they are playing and the online company they are keeping. Families are being torn apart due to a box that plugs into the wall.

I don't want to spend to much time on this because as I've said before I'm not in any way against technology, it has it's place. What I am against however is the amount of time we spend staring at a screen and ignoring life that's going on around us. Reality is what's happening in our backyards, in our kitchens and lounge rooms. Reality is not found behind our screens (have you ever looked behind your screen, it's either a bunch of wires or if it's a laptop like mine all you'll find is a table top!!!!).

In some of the research I did I found that in a Stanford University study or 4000 people they found that there is a noticeable effect even with just 2-5 Internet hours/week, and it rises substantially for those spending more that 10 hours/week, of whom up to 15 percent report a decrease in social activities. Even more striking is the fact that Internet users spend much less time of talking on the phone to friends and family. Basically, through excessive computer/internet usage we are losing contact with our social environment – our reality.

I encourage you to limit the time you spend on the computer and those in your home.

Don't allow all hour access
Encourage conversation
Keep the computer in a high activity location (not in a room away from the action)
Check history files regularly
Limit games played
Establish a ‘log in – log out’ book for the family and decide what an acceptable amount of computer time per person and stick to it
Keep each other accountable

Lastly, if you find yourself getting definsive when someone says something about the amount of time you’re spending on the computer you might want to stop and think because.....they’re probably right.

Take care, be well and keep loving each other.

Susan xoxo

©thefamilyroom 2006

Modern Technology – What is it doing to us?

Hey there I hope you are all well and enjoying the weekend!

As of late my thoughts have been filled with modern technology and how it is shaping us as individuals.

I was recently out for dinner with my family and was enjoying our time together. Our conversation was full of stories from each ones day - we were enjoying lots of laughs together plus the incredible food we had ordered to share.

Being an avid PEOPLE WATCHER I noticed the table beside us and was saddened by what I saw. The scene hurt my heart. It was of mother and father sitting in silence, looking around the restaurant whilst occasionally rearranging their utensils. They had two children aged approx. 12 and 14 and they were both transfixed with their mobile phones. One was continuously sending text messages and the other totally engrossed in a game. NO ONE WAS TALKING!

Just the other day I had the opportunity to spend time with a few great friends and I was extremely frustrated with the amount of time that was taken up either through text messaging or responding immediately to a mobile phone ring or another text indicator. Our communication was determined and dictated by technology and our insatiable need to be ‘in touch’ with life.

I guess my thought is what about the life that is happening right in front of us. The people we are with – we need to give each other our undivided attention. My suggestion is we turn off mobile phones or blackberries, blueberries or whatever it is that is causing you to become so distracted that you miss out on LIFE.

I’m not against technology I just think we need to be aware of how we, and our most precious relationships, are being affected by it.

I, like you I’m sure, often wonder what we did before email and mobile phones – I think we walked more, had breathing space and enjoyed face-to-face conversation much more.

Have the best day and make sure you turn everything off and enjoy those in your world.

Susan xoxo
©thefamilyroom 2006

KIDS SAY THE FUNNIEST THINGS

Hello all just a quick story to put a smile on your face today.

The other night my hubby and I had decided to go out for a date. As you know whenever you decide to go out, once you have kids it’s no longer just getting yourself ready it’s everyone else as well. In an effort to be organised and ready for a great night out I bathed the children and whilst they were getting their jammies on I put the final touches on their dinner – a dinner I thought was really nice.

My eldest daughter and my youngest daughter feasted on the meal I had lovingly prepared and seemingly loved every morsel. My middle child who our boy in this great clan sat in his chair eating and chatting with everyone, mid way through the meal he said, "mummy, this is really good......except for the taste."

Needless to say, we all had a huge giggle. Thankfully I have a great sense of humour and his comment didn't rock my boat rather it made me love him even more (if that's at all possible).

I want to encourage you to listen to your children, let them talk. Remember, we were created with two ears and one mouth for a reason. Through their musings our children will challenge us, they will enlighten us, they will humour us and they will give us memories that will last a lifetime. Let them make you laugh.

If you have a funny story about something your child has said or done please share it with us. You never know who may be touched by the joy that resides in your home.

Have a fantastic day.

Susan xoxo
©thefamilyroom 2006

HOW GREEN or FRESH IS YOUR TROLLEY.....?

Hey everyone I hope this post finds you all well and happy!

I thought I would give you a couple of days to ‘digest’ our familyroom 9 Week Christmas Plan before we put anything else up for you to read and enjoy. I do hope you’ve printed the plan out and are trying to keep to it. I bought my candy canes today for the kids Christmas cards – I felt very organized and on top of things.

Okay, now back to what I’m writing about today...... How Green or Fresh Is Your Trolley.....

I’ve thought about this for sometime now and have wanted to share my thoughts. Actually the thought first popped into my mind when a friend of mine was doing the groceries with me, she commented on how proud she felt walking through the grocery store with my trolley because it was full of such great stuff and was so green and fresh (meaning full of great fruits and veggies). We eat pretty well in the Sohn home, stacks of fruit and loads of veggies and not a lot of junk or what we call ‘sometimes food’. We are what one would call a ‘foodie’ family we just make sure we keep it extremely nutritious and healthy.

Through my friends simple comment she alerted me to other trolleys in the shop and I must say I was very surprised at what I saw and continue to see. Some of the trolleys I noticed and continue to notice are very packaged, very white, and very colourful (which works to capture our attention and the attention of our children) however this packaged food is generally very processed which, my friends, means there isn’t a lot of goodness in some of these foods - not all of them of course. In saying this, I do however understand that some people do their fruit and veggie shopping in places other than the major supermarkets which is something I do which may very well be the reason for many trolleys lacking in their fresh produce.

In saying all of this and sharing with you I want to encourage everyone to make their trolleys that little bit greener and fresher each week. I encourage you, each week or whenever you do your shopping, to take a look at what your buying and what you could substitute or add to your trolley that would increase the health benefits to your family. It’s that easy and all it takes is a quick glance to see how green and fresh everything is and it may mean one more trip down the ‘fresh produce’ isle.

Go on everyone – we all deserve it!

Thanks for reading, I hope you’re inspired to make a difference in your life and the lives of those in your world.

Love you and believe in each one of you.

Susan xoxo

©thefamilyroom 2006

Over Scheduling our Kids – Why?

As I sat this week at my daughters swimming lesson watching her learn the butterfly I engaged in conversation with a very nice mother who was also watching her child in the same class. I had been reading a magazine from the newspaper that was full of yummy summer recipes that caught not only my eye but my taste buds as well. I shared a few of the photos and meal ideas with this nice mother which lead into a great conversation between the two of us. It was one of those conversations that makes you think about life and how we spend our time and our children’s time.

During our conversation this mother began to tell me that she wouldn't even dream of preparing any of the food we were looking at due to her intense schedule with the children. She talked of swimming lessons 2 afternoons a week, dance lessons for 2.5 hours 2 times a week (except when they are preparing for a recital when the days usually increase to 3) plus piano and math's tutoring each week and that’s only for one of her two children. Her weekly activities mean that they finally drag themselves into their house at approximately 8pm each night at which time dinner is served. All this for an 8 year old! Even I was tired listening to this intense schedule.

As I listened to the woman I kept turning back to the pool to give my daughter the well deserved thumbs up as she reached the end of the pool - the butterfly isn't an easy stroke. I thought of the involvement my children have which includes swimming, horse riding, piano and soccer however our schedule isn't determined or dictated by these activities, rather the activities fit around our home schedule.

I fit these activities around our home schedule because I believe children need to be children and over scheduling should be reserved for boot camp, the doctors office or the like. Children require down time, they need time to play in the back yard, time to allow their imagination to take them away. They need time to stop and watch the world and all her beauty, they need to be given a net to chase butterflies and a looking glass to investigate the life of an ant. Our children need time to become themselves in these moments, they need to spread their own wings and dance in the sunshine and step in puddles when it rains. They need to make mud pies and scrape their knees from that fall off a bike (we all have that memory on one of our knees). Our children need time to be children.

So my friends don’t allow the pressure of ‘activities’ and ‘over achieving’ to steal your child’s childhood, relax and know that as they dig in the back yard dreams are formed, life is being understood, the days will feel long and warm and this they will remember forever.

Susan xoxo

ps – I look forward to your comments on this.....
©The Family Room 2006

Staying Sane During the Toddler Years

Hey everyone I hope you’re all well and enjoying life.

I recently had an email from a friend who is a stay-at-home mum with 3 little one’s all under 4......she’s a busy girl. In her email she shared a few thoughts on the challenges she was facing and I responded with a few very ‘practical’ ideas and thoughts that I believe will help her with this tough season. I thought I’d put these up for you because as I was writing I thought they may very well benefit others.

I hope you enjoy:
•Whatever you do don’t wish these moments away they are precious.
•Stay on top of their little attitudes and pull out their amazing little characters. They will all have their own individual personalities that you need to get used to and understand but pull their character out, teach them how to be GREAT people.
•Don’t second guess yourself. Your children will pick up on this and they will manipulate situations.
•Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Meaning don’t break and ‘give in’. They are clever and know your weak spots.
•Keep going with your discipline and stick to it, try not to chop and change and support each other (hubby’s/partners).
•Also remember that God’s design is absolutely brilliant – remember how you yourself have no real concrete memory until around 5ish well neither will your children. In His almighty wisdom He allowed us a period of Grace or trial and error time I think......however you want to look at it.


Here are a few things you can do/use to keep going during this ‘tough’ time:
•Remind your children (often) how amazing they are and how you are a better person because they are in the world.
•Date your hubby/partner regularly (get a BABYSITTER and go out alone and DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE KIDS – talk about when you first started dating, falling in love, your dreams for the future, etc.).
•When you’re going to loose your temper remember that the word temporary has some of the same letters as temper and whatever you’re freaking out about probably isn’t really worth it.
•Figure out what time of the day is YOURS. You need some alone time so carve that out and use it wisely. For me it’s early in the morning – I like to get up before everyone and go for a walk or to the gym, I then come home, make my coffee and greet the troops. I’m set for the day because I’ve had some very necessary ME time.
•Remember they are little people figuring out life as well – sometimes it’s hard being a two year old with an older sister causing you grief and visa versa. They are on an incredible journey of discovery.
•Give them lots of hugs and kisses.
•Try and organize your day so you have time to play with them. This could be swinging them or walking down your street picking flowers, playing barbies, dress ups or pirates. Whatever the case may be find the little one within yourself and have fun with your children.
•Talk to them not at them.
•Finally (for now anyway) drink lots of coffee and have a stash of chocolate somewhere for when it all goes pear shaped and you just need to relax!


I hope this helps and you’ve enjoyed the read.

Susan xoxo
©The Family Room 2006

The Simple Things That Make a Difference

Hey all just a quick note today to share a simple thought (and some photos with you).

Like many of you I have photos, pieces of artwork, great cards from family and friends and little bits and pieces that I like to keep in view to encourage me (and those in my home) throughout the day. Sometimes I take a moment and just gaze at everything on my cluttered cork board and I find my soul is warmed by all these 'odds and ends'.

The thing that I find a little frustrating is that the cork board that all of these things are located on is rather unattractive and it doesn't really serve as a 'piece of artwork' in my kitchen (see photo below).

So here's what I did to rectify the situation..... My friend Mel makes these incredible MEMORY BOARDS (as she calls them). You've probably seen them around but I promise you haven't seen any until you've seen these. You see Mel has the most incredible taste in fabric and all the 'bits' that go with the board. I promise you they are beautiful - anyone who sees them asks her to make them one - which is exactly what I did.

My little piece of 'life as it's happening' which hangs on my wall is no longer a mish-mash of stuff rather it has become a feature on my wall that attracts everyone's attention. And it was a simple change that made a huge difference in something so necessary in my home. I can't wait to get some made up for my daughters room (her children's boards are exquisite).

Check the before and the after photos and let the evidence speak for itself.

If you are interested in a Memory Board feel free to call Mel on 0410424192. Also, Mel will have some of her products on display at our familyroom LIVE event on November 16th so come ready to pick up a great piece and make a difference with your memories.

Susan xoxo
©The Family Room 2006

Great Holiday Ideas

I’m sitting in my kitchen with the patio doors open enjoying the incredible weather we’re having, the sky is blue, the breeze is fresh and the birds are singing….it’s a gorgeous day.

My eldest is sitting at the other end of the table totally engrossed in her painting all the while keeping a very interesting conversation going with me. My son is eagerly looking through a kid’s magazine deciding what he will and can do with a cardboard box. My littlest one is sound asleep for her morning nap but will be up soon, ready for action with the others.

Today has been a day of ‘figuring out what to do’ the ideas are endless, the fun never ending however there is thought required on my part and sometimes that can be the hard part. During the school holidays, we as parents, are forever listening to comments like:

‘There’s nothing to do around here.’
‘I’m bored.’
‘What can I do now.’?

And the list goes on. So, in an effort to try and help you we thought we’d put together a few ideas that you may find interesting and may assist you survive the last week of school holidays.

We hope you enjoy these ideas and if you have any other great ones please send us a comment and share with everyone.

Take care and enjoy your time together. Remember to remind each other how much you love one another.

Susan & Michaela


For the small fries:
oSet up a table and chairs outside, take the dress ups out, the crayons and paper, give them their own space where they can paint, eat, dress up, throw things around and not destroy your lounge room.

o Pull out some paints and let them create a handprint piece of art that you will be able to keep for a lifetime.

o Set up a tub of water and let them play with their bath toys outside.

o Have a Teddy Bear picnic in the back yard.


For the 5 – 8’s:
o Sidewalk chalk – let them arrange a parking lot; write notes to family members or guests.

o Bake a cake but don’t use the mixer. Get them to count their stirring time, start with 100 stirs – you determine how well mixed you want the cake.

o Take all your instruments outside (recorder, drums or pots and pans, tambourine, etc.) and let them start a marching band either on their own or with the neighbours.

o Plant some flowers or a herb garden

o Give them a list of 12 things to find in the back yard eg:

feather leaves from
2 different trees
6 sticks
an old straw
flower
ball
paddle pop stick
a piece of rubbish (we all have some)
10 different rocks
bark from a tree
dandilion
grass

o Grab a disposable camera and let them document the day – you will need to give them guidelines as the camera could be used up in 5 minutes without your guidance.

o Give them a cardboard box and give them a few suggestions – maybe a TV or a puppet theatre. Arm them with some glue, paint, paper, markers and let them be creative.

o Set up a lemonade stand at the end of the driveway.

o Read a good book.


For the 9 – 12’s:
o If you have a cubby house run a power cord from the house to the cubby/playhouse and let them listen to their music in the cubby/playhouse.

o Play a game of basketball (1 on 1) or just practice their shooting skills.

o Bake something.

o Fix up an old bike – put a large wheel on the front and a small one on the back and make a chopper like bike.

o Help get the yard ready for summer (or winter for some).

o Encourage them to write a play, gather the little one’s in the house or the neighborhood and produce it – this allows them to discover their creativity and develop their leadership skills......

o For girls....set up a mini-spa at home. Use a bed for the massage table and another room for the foot spa and manicure area. Allow yourself to be pampered once the treatment areas are arranged and products in place.

o For the boys....why not let them get the tent out and set it up in the backyard in preparation for a sleep out. Make sure you give them the instructions and let them see a project unfold in front of them. Give them a few dollars to go to the corner store and get themselves some camp out munchies. Be ready to roll out your sleeping bag with them (or encourage hubby to do so).

o Scrapbook

o Read a good book


For the teens:
o Let them host a dinner party for the family. They can cook whatever they want. Give them a grocery budget and be their kitchen hand when it comes time to prepare.

o Let them invite 8 friends over and host a ‘hang out day’. You provide all the food and let them relax and enjoy their company. You will be amazed at how much laughter you’ll hear and how grateful your children will be. Allow your home to be a place of fun.

o Change their room around – maybe even let them paint it.

o Have an 80's movie marathon. Rent as many 80's movies as you can find and watch them all day. Do the same thing for other decades.

o Scrapbook

o Design some t-shirts or something cool to give their friends for Christmas.

o Research something on the Internet that they are interested in.

o Grab the family video camera and make a short video using imovie or a similar program.

o Read a good book.
©The Family Room 2006

You've Got to Watch This

PUTTING LIFE INTO PERSPECTIVE - A must read for everyone......5 minutes that will change your life (it looks long but it’s SO worth it)!

Most of you who know me well know that I try and find the joy in everything, that I will search for the silver lining whatever in every situation. I am a strong believer in being positive and how positive thinking changes our perspective on things/life.

My sister sent me this story and video and encouraged me to persevere and read through the entire story and then watch the video. I’m so glad she did because I think I’ve just read and watched one of those things that I believe may have just changed my life......you know those defining moments – well I think I’ve just had one as a person. I’m inspired by how this father took a seemingly impossible situation with his son and turned it into greatness and established a relationship with him that so many desire. They share no spoken words yet their bond is strong, their love is deep.

Girls reading this share this with your hubby’s and men in your world, allow this story of triumph to encourage those in your world. I hope you are touched as deeply as I have been.

To Rick (the father in the article) I would like to say thank you for making a difference in the world and for challenging each one of us to be better people.

To the story now..............the video link is at the end of the story


Strongest Dad in the World

[From Sports Illustrated, By Rick Reilly]

I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay for their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots. But compared with Dick
Hoyt, I suck.

Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a
wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars -- all in the same day
(doing the Ironman Triathlon). Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S.
on a bike.

Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right? And what has Rick done for his father? Not much -- except save his life.

This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and
unable to control his limbs. "He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life," Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months
old, "Put him in an institution." But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick
was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. "No way," Dick
says he was told. "there's nothing going on in his brain." "Tell him a joke," Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on
in his brain. Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally
able to communicate. First words? "Go Bruins!"

And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, "Dad, I want to do
that." Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described "porker" who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he
tried. "then it was me who was handicapped," Dick says. "I was sore for two weeks." that day changed Rick's life. "Dad,"
he typed, "when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!" And that sentence changed Dick's life.

He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon. "No way," Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into the race officially: In 1983 they ran another
marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year. Then somebody said, "Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?" How's a guy who
never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried. Now they've
done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii. It must be a buzz kill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy
towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think? Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? "No way," he says. Dick does it purely for "the awesome feeling" he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.

This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992 -- only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time. "No question about it," Rick types. "My dad is the Father of the Century." And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. "If you
hadn't been in such great shape," one doctor told him, "you probably would've died 15 years ago." So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's
life.

Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass.,
always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's
Day. That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy. "The thing I'd most like," Rick types, "is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once."

Here's the video....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryCTIigaloQ
©The Family Room 2006

BILL GRANGERS CARAMEL CHICKEN

After many requests I have decided to post this recipe. I can’t take any credit for finding it however indulging in it and enjoying every bite I can!!! This recipe was found by our resident chef (aka Domestic Goddess Samantha Cosatto) and it’s origins are from the one and only Bill Granger. We have a few favorites at the family room and Jamie and Bill are two of our tops!

The recipe is for CARAMEL CHICKEN and it is simply delish. Remember ALL the recipes we give you are tried and tested and have passed all palette testing within thefamiyroom (meaning hubby, children and guests.......).

Here we go:
8 Chicken thigh fillets, skinless chopped in half
1 Tablespoon vegetable oil
1 red onion, sliced
3 garlic cloves, sliced
freshly ground black pepper
60ml (1/4 cup) dark soy sauce
115g (1/2 cup) brown sugar
60ml (1/4 cup) fish sauce

METHOD:
Place the chicken and oil in a large bowl and toss to combine. Heat a large frying pan over a high heat until hot. Add the chicken, in two batches, and cook for 2 minutes on one side until lightly brown, turn and cook for another minute. Remove from the pan. Reduce the heat to medium and add a little extra oil if needed. Add the onion and garlic and cook for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Return the chicken to the pan, sprinkle liberally with black pepper, add the soy sauce and stir to combine. Cover the pan, reduce heat to low and cook for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Increase the heat to high, add the sugar and stir to combine. Cook uncovered for 3 to 4 minutes, for until the sauce is rich, dark and syrupy. Add the fish sauce and stir to combine. Place in a serving dish and serve with steamed rice and green vegetables.

Serve with Steamed Rice and Green Veggies

Green Veggies:

You can either steam these or lightly stir fry in a tablespoon of oil and garlic – either way tastes great.
Be adventurous with your veggies there is more to life than green beans, frozen peas and iceberg lettuce.


To make life easy for you and to take the headache out of meal planning we have included a shopping list for this meal (we will do this for all of our meal recipes). All you need to do is simply cut, paste, print and away you go to the shops armed with everything you need for a healthy, substantial meal that will make you look like a total legend at home.


Grocery List:
8 Chicken thighs
1 red onion
1 bulb of garlic
Dark soy sauce (if you’ve run out)
Fish sauce (this is a great ingredient to have on hand – it’s becoming more and more popular so don’t hesitate to buy. It keeps in the fridge for sometime).
Broccoli (Chinese or normal – Chinese is the long skinny one)
Snow peas
Baby Bok Choy

Enjoy and remember to share this with friends......everything tastes better when it’s shared :)

Susan xoxo

ZERO TOLERANCE

Okay girls do I have a story for you today.

I've been extremely interested in net lingo (internet language) as it seems to be a language all to itself. I recently heard Dr. Phil talking about this language which made me realize that my knowledge was limited in this area. I know the regulars like LOL (laugh out loud) and ta-ta-4-N (ta ta for now) and 4Eva (forever), BF (boyfriend), BFF (best friend forever), SO (significant other) and that's about it for me. My limited knowledge has probably already astounded some of you.

Dr. Phil started me thinking about this and then I was again challenged when I read something recently that included POS which to my surprise means Parents over Shoulder. Now I don't need to be hit over the head to know that certain things are calling my attention and require a little more research as this did. I got online and was absolutely shocked at the language that's out there.

I am in TOTAL agreement with Dr. Phil, there should be a ZERO TOLERANCE policy in our homes when it comes to communication. This 'net lingo' ostracizes parents from children and allows our children/teens/young adults to enter into an unsafe world away from our protection. We have no idea who they are communicating with and what they are communicating about.

I encourage you to keep your computers in an open area in your home, limit access
time and check your history file regularly. Keep your children and teens safe. As much as they want privacy on the computer it must be used like the old ‘party line’ telephones. Zero Tolerance when it comes to ‘net lingo’.

I have prepared a little sample for you to interpret. Try your skills and see how you go with our ‘net lingo’:

Hey how RU? RU MorF? RU SorG? LMIRL. WYCM. AEAP. Got2 go P911. PIR.


Interpretation:

Hey how are you? Are you Male or Female? Are you Straight or Gay? Let's meet in real life. Will you call me. As early as possible. Got to go, parent alert. Parent's in room.

I’m sure most of you are shocked by what you’ve just read – so was I. I knew this language was out there but to the extent that it is I couldn’t believe. You could learn a totally new language through ‘net lingo’......very scary.

For more information and to educate yourself on this language visit www.netlingo.com. You’ll be surprised. Don’t think your children are to young or to old to check this out. Keep yourself informed and ahead of the game.

I hope this has been helpful.

Susan xoxo
©The Family Room 2006