The Richness of Tradition

Well friends, Christmas is just around the corner and what a special time of year it is. I love the carols, the storefront displays, the crisp feeling of excitement in the air and the smell of Christmas baking in our homes.

For our family, we have a number of traditions that we have either adopted or established ourselves. One of those traditions is our Tree Decorating Night. This is always done on the first Friday in December and it’s a night that we all look forward to. Friends and family know about this night in our home and they know that our door is always open.

On this night, we all take part. Philip is the lighting and music man, Sophia is head designer, Gabriel is creative consult and wee Ella is a very able assistant to all. My role is catering, dance co-ordinator and accident control (baubles breaking, decorations falling apart). We all hold very specific and important roles and we take our responsibilities very seriously.

As we work, we talk about the decorations, where they have come from and the stories that go with them (just another little tradition, we buy a Christmas decoration when we travel so that our tree truly has a global theme). We laugh, we eat whatever it is we have all agreed upon prior to the night, we talk and we simply enjoy coming together, relaxing, reflecting on the year and being in the moment as family. In addition to the laughter, there is always music, carols are ringing throughout the house and we push the chairs aside and we dance.

This year, I taught the kids how to polka. There is one album that is played in our home from December 1 through to January 2 and it happens to be one of my favourites. The kids don’t love this album (yet), but have come to know that it is part of our tradition. It’s the Kenny & Dolly Once Upon a Christmas album. I love it. I play it loud and I play it proud. So, if you find yourself anywhere near the Sohn home during the holidays, just know that Kenny and Dolly will be right here with us.

I believe that tradition is part of the fibre that keeps our families strong and rich. Tradition is part of the root system of a family and it’s a necessary ingredient. Friends, celebrate your traditions, don’t let them go by the wayside because you’re busy, tired or just don’t see the point. When we look at a tree or a beautiful flower, we don’t get the opportunity to see the root system below, rather we just marvel at the beauty in front of us. Family is like that. I would suggest that the strong families you see have traditions that they hold tight.

I know that as my children grow and as they eventually leave the nest, our Tree Decorating Night will be one that they will miss. I know that on the first Friday of December, if they are near, they will be at home, if they are far, I know our phone will ring and their hearts will be in our living room. I also know that as the years progress, it will be them requesting Kenny and Dolly. I know that this is only a night, however through this one night, we are giving them stability, strength for the journey and a confidence that is deep within their being.

What are your family traditions? I’ve shared just one of ours with you and there are many more. As I said, some we have adopted from our families and some we have established on our own. I encourage you to create in your home a strong root system through tradition. Create something that is unique to your family and know that you are building a great foundation. Whether you are a young family, further along the journey or a new, blended family, carve out tradition and watch the richness unfold.

For my Mum and Auntie Myrna know that where ever we are for Christmas, there is always red and green jello on the table – a great a tradition we have adopted and so have many of our cousins. Thanks for being such great women of tradition and passing so much on to all of us. You are greatly appreciated and loved.

Susan

The Reality of Christmas

Well friends, the festive season is in front of us. The baking has started, the parties are underway, well-wrapped gifts are finding their way under the tree and that sense of wonder and excitement is in the air.

Christmas is that one time of the year when somehow we all find it within ourselves to lay aside external pressures and simply relax and enjoy. This year is no exception. With the economy in turmoil and (in Canada) our political situation unstable, the celebration of the birth of one child is able to still our hearts, cause us to reflect and show gratitude and love in a way that we, for whatever reason, reserve for this one season every year.

I was thinking about Christmas and the family side of the holidays. Sadly, family can be the cause of some of the strongest pain we experience. Unresolved issues, unforgiveness and hurt can take the place of joy, happiness and great memories. It has been said that when you have been hurt or wronged by someone close, walking through the pain can feel almost impossible. This, coupled with the cheery, celebratory side of Christmas, can turn what should be a happy time into something dreaded.

Bearing this in mind, together with my ever-hopeful disposition, I have a suggestion. This Christmas, why not make the decision to give a gift that will last a lifetime. That is the gift of choosing the relationship rather than the offence, the pain or the hurt. The relationship is much more valuable than holding onto and keeping track of the other stuff. Give the gift of forgiveness. It might be the most costly gift but it is one that will last a lifetime and it is a gift that only you can give.

Choose the relationship over the pain and the offence. I say this because I have chosen this year to make right what was once wrong in one of my family relationships. I took a risk and a step in the right direction; I humbled myself and extended my hand. A decision and a choice I am not regretting. I chose relationship over the past and stuff that had happened. You too can do it and Christmas opens the door for all of us to extend more than a well-wrapped gift. An extended hand of forgiveness and kindness – showing that the past is the past – is a gift worth giving and one that won’t empty your wallet.

As you make your Christmas preparations, consider your relationships and do whatever it takes to make right that which needs attention. Choose the relationship! Remember to drink some eggnog, enjoy your Christmas goodies, laugh lots and celebrate Christmas in the fullness of family, friends and faith this year.

Susan

There's a world outside your window ...

As Christmas once again draws near, in 2008 it is approaching with a bit of a different feel. We find ourselves surrounded by talk of the world changing before our eyes and it is easy to buy into the fear, wondering where we will find ourselves tomorrow and the day after, next month or next year. How will it all work out? Will we be ok? Can we even afford to buy our kids presents this year?

These sorts of questions can take your breath away and as an exercise in removing the focus from me and mine, I have been considering the situation of those who are already disadvantaged, hungry, sick, poor, needy, alone – and for whom this current crisis only increases their plight.

Every Christmas, we support different international organisations in their work specifically so our kids can understand that Christmas morning with a fabulous toy and plenty to eat is not the way most of the world lives.

Even with economic uncertainty and a changing world, we are so fortunate and have so much – more than we need – so much to be grateful for.

Each year, we buy cards from Tear Fund (http://www.usefulgifts.org/ ) which we attach to small gifts for the kids in our extended family. These cards represent a gift that has been given in the child’s name, to someone starting school in India who needs supplies or to a family in Ghana who need a goat to generate income.

These gifts help the needy, but also increase awareness for the person receiving the card about the world outside their comfortable four walls.

It’s a great way to remember that candy canes, laughter and family around the table at Christmas lunch are truly things to be thankful for.

I don’t want Christmas to be about stress, frantic gift giving and shopping malls on overdrive (my girlfriend calls them the vortex!), but about the spirit of the season that is the gift of peace and hope in an uncertain world.

Enjoy your Christmas this year … take a deep breath, hug your kids, laugh with them at the Christmas school play and go buy a box of mangoes, or roasted chestnuts as the case may be, and share them around …

Lv Jane