Tightening Our Belts

This morning, as with most mornings, I woke before everyone in my house. After going for my early walk I sat enjoying my morning coffee in the quiet ~ a favourite part of my day.

Today my thoughts were consumed with the current economic situation in the US. Not only is this crisis affecting the US but also other world markets causing stress and pressure for families and individuals on all sides. Just yesterday I spoke with a girlfriend in Australia and she shared a story with me about a family (we know) who have recently lost their home due to a $600 default on their payments. Thankfully this couple have the determination and strength to rebuild and are already moving in that direction. The effects of this crisis are hitting far too close to home.

Experts are using words like recession, crisis and depression to explain this situation. Some of you reading this understand the meaning of depression. You felt it as your parents lived and negotiated their way through it during the 30’s and 40’s. From what I can understand through conversations and the reading I’ve done most would say that those who lived through the Great Depression never truly recovered. Fear crept in and held lives hostage even when better times arrived.

If we truly are experiencing crisis, recession or the possibility of a depression then my suggestion is that we must all ‘Tighten our Belts’. The uncertainty in the world has reminded us as a family to be mindful of budgeting and as the old adage goes, ‘It’s what you make, not what you save’. Just as companies are watching their bottom lines we too are watching our spending. For us this means watching our dining out, the incidental buying and those ‘everyday treats’ plus making more efficient use of household luxuries. It all makes a difference and our generation is so used to everything being disposable including our incomes. It’s important at times like this, not become overcome by fear but to operate in wisdom.

This brings me to one of thefamilyroom core values, which is coming back to the dining table. As we all ride out this economic confusion let’s not do it alone. Tightening our belts doesn’t mean cutting us off from community rather I believe these are times when community shows it’s wonder. Ride this out together, have people over, eat together (for great recipe ideas visit our blogspot), bring back the games of our childhood like charades, twister, card games and all those fun things we seem to have let go of. Tightening our belts has a way of bringing things and people together so let’s enjoy this season, see it as a time to sow into relationships, to spend time rather than money and enjoy the simpler things in life.

Thanks for checking us out, make sure you come back again and when time permits leave us a quick message (it's super easy!)

Susan xo

Love Thy Neighbour

As most of you know by now, our family recently moved to Wolseley in Saskatchewan, and we are enjoying our time here. I know that the experience of these months in Canada will travel with us for a lifetime.

Being an avid participant in and observer of life, plus someone who is passionate about building community and bringing people together, I’ve found the last few weeks to be extremely interesting. Upon our arrival in town, and having just unpacked our suitcases and belongings, I was more than happy to find a friendly face carrying two loaves of freshly baked bread, home-made jam and a warm welcome at my front door. Lori Perra, someone I have come to know and greatly enjoy, extended this welcome. Lori has a smile that can light up any room and a kindness of heart that is refreshing in this big old world.

Following our welcome from Lori, I found myself with my mother on the front lawn of one of our neighbours, Mrs Christianson. We were discussing spring days and the excitement of another Saskatchewan summer. During our conversation, this lovely 92-year-old woman welcomed us to Wolseley and upon learning of our three children quickly offered her babysitting services. I smiled and thanked her and thought how kind she was and how she remains ever ready to extend herself to another generation through kindness and generosity and good old neighbourly love.

A couple of days later, I again found myself answering the front door and another neighbour, Ruth Banbury, was there with a smile and freshly baked treats for our family to enjoy. Again, another warm welcome into the community.

Recently, I did some study and research on communities in North America and how they have changed and developed over the years. Interestingly enough, I found that in the 50s the front lawn and street in front of the homes was where life happened. Neighbours talked and shared in each other’s lives. As the years progressed, change slipped in and before long the backyard became our place of refuge. Decks were built off the back of the homes, fences went up around properties creating barriers and privacy, our front lawns and streets which were once home to activity became quiet passageways backed by front windows with drawn curtains. Sadly, the neighbourhood experience began to drain.

I believe we are coming back to that place of sharing and caring. We’ve discovered that we haven’t been designed to live this life alone rather we are placed in our communities to be part of something bigger than our own little families and ourselves. So thank you Lori, Mrs Christiansen, Mrs Banbury and others who have warmly welcomed us to this neighbourhood, thank you for setting excellent examples to be followed. Thank you for sharing the truth of loving thy neighbour.

This week and going forward why don’t we all extend ourselves just a little further and be the change we want to see in our neighbourhoods, our communities and in this world.

Susan

Intuition – Are You Listening?

Intuition (in•tu•i•tion), n. direct perception of truth, fact, etc., independent of any reasoning process; immediate apprehension.

That’s the dictionary definition of intuition. We’ve all experienced it, we’ve all acted on it and most of us have, at times, sadly ignored it.

Personally, I consider intuition to be the God whisper. It is a knowing that must come from somewhere. At times it can stop you in your tracks and you just know that you know something. I truly believe warnings, perception of truth and fact must come from a higher place that our ‘gut’.

Like you, I have been aware and have experienced intuition my entire life. I remember as a child a certain knowing that something wasn’t just right. As a young adult making wrong choices and feeling intuition step in. I know I have been saved from countless situations because I listened and acted. I also know that there are situations I could have been saved from if I had only listened. One such instance happened when my eldest daughter was three years old. I was leaving for work one morning and as I walked out the front door it hit me. This knowing that I needed to tell the babysitter not to take her horse riding that day. I shrugged my shoulders and thought how silly, she never goes horse riding with the babysitter. All day I sat at work and the same message kept plaguing my mind, again and again I ignored that perception of truth and fact – the God whisper. At 3pm that afternoon I answered my phone at work, only to hear the panicked voice of my babysitter. She had taken my daughter on an adventure ... to see her sister’s horse. They put my daughter on the horse; the horse spooked and fell directly on my three-year-old. She was rushed to emergency, falling in and out of consciousness. Thankfully, all the tests showed there was nothing wrong, however strangely enough she was unable to walk. It was three weeks, multiple tests and much prayer before she took another step and eventually walked again. Intuition – the direct perception of truth, fact, independent of any reasoning process. Definitely something worth listening to.

Just the other day, my mum and I were working at home, the kids ran in from outside asking if they could go to the park. They desperately wanted to take my three-year-old. Intuition struck and I stopped in my tracks. I just knew that I knew something. My mum heard me telling the children that they could go and that our three-year-old was allowed to go with them, however I gave strict instructions of what she could and couldn’t play on or do at the park (the children questioned what in fact she could go on since my list was so long). I told them to be careful and I reminded my eldest that I needed her to be extremely attentive to her little sister. She knew exactly what I meant because I’ve explained this knowing in the past.

About 20 minutes after their departure my mum and I heard the call, “Auntie Susan, Auntie Susan, Ella’s head’s bleeding.” At the first Auntie Susan, I knew. According to all credible witnesses the seesaw had come crashing down on her head and something went through the skin creating a ‘hole in her head’. We took her to the hospital, got her glued up and she is good as new. Thankfully the accident was minor.

Who knows what was ahead of her that day. Who knows if the accident could have been greater? All I know is that I chose to stop and listen when I felt that immediate apprehension. I encourage you to listen, to be wise and to allow that knowing within you to guide you when it stands up and commands your attention. We have been given intuition as an internal guide and usually in terms of our safety.

Parents of seniors graduating this year…listen.

Parents of young children….listen.

Parents of children any age….listen.

Individuals…. listen.

Let’s all allow this internal guide to assist us as we walk through life.

Susan

We All Grow Up Eventually

We All Grow Up Eventually

As most of you know, our family has been living in LA for the past while. We have loved our time here, it has been a great learning experience and we have met some extraordinary people. LA is full of diversity and truly gives expression to the vastness of humanity.

Throughout my time here I have come to know a great man who runs a business on the corner of our street. He’s a big man in stature and one of those kind eyed, teddy bear types. Yesterday I was in his shop and as usual we had a great conversation. He has a kind smile and always chooses his words wisely. You just know that he thinks deeply and considers things before saying them.

Over the months and through our many conversations I have always been curious about a certain tattoo he has on his left hand. I’m fascinated by what they call body art (tattoos) and the stories that go along with each permanent marking. Before you ask…..no I don’t have any myself!!!! I’m happy to leave that to others. Yesterday I decided to ask him what the sequence of numbers and letters meant. After asking, he paused and looked into the distance and said, “I haven’t always lived in a nice neighbourhood like this. My childhood and younger years were spent in some extremely rough areas of town.” I replied saying, “Enough said.” I knew my question had taken him to a dark place in his past that was riddled with experiences I have never known. I knew he was referring to his gang days. He chose to continue the conversation and he told me about bad choices he had made in his younger years. As he shared these stories I could see the pain written not only in ink on his body but in those kind eyes. He then began to tell me about the good choices he eventually started to make. His kind eyes met mine once again and he said, “We all grow up eventually.” I smiled and thanked him for sharing with me. I told him his story needed to be shared both to kids who are walking on the wrong side of right and to parents who’s hearts are breaking.

I left the shop with his words echoing in my mind, “We all grow up eventually.” A simple statement from a strong man who has probably seen more than I or even perhaps you can imagine. I thought his words needed to be shared to parents everywhere who hold concern in their heart for their children who are seemingly making wrong choices. Through this mans life be encouraged, keep loving and keep as close as possible because……We All Grow Up Eventually.

Susan xoxo

Food for Thought.....

Below is something that I have read before and recently had it sent to me in an email. I thought I would post it here as a gentle reminder about what truly matters in life. Sit back, relax, pour yourself a cup of tea or coffee, put your feet up and ENJOY this little reminder.

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer).

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more 'I love you's' More 'I'm sorry's.'
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it . live it and never give it back.

SO PLEASE EVERYONE LET'S STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!
Don't worry about who doesn't like you , who has more, or who's doing what . Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us and simply enjoy the days we've been given.

Susan

The Dining Table

Over the past few years my parents have been thinking about moving from their farm into town. The conversation has progressed substantially, they have bought the house in town and this transition is slowly becoming a reality. Like many of you reading, you have gone down this road and made this transition, so you know exactly where I/we are right now. In preparation for this move the time has come for us kids to start picking and choosing things from the farm that we want ~ not an easy task that’s for sure.

I have thought long and hard about what it is that I want, what piece of the farm can I take with me that will allow me to remain close and connected to a place that saw me grow from a four year old pig-tailed little girl into a thirty-something woman? There are many things I have decided I would like however there is one thing that has stuck in my mind and I have finally I decided to ask for it. What is it you ask? The kitchen table!

You may think the kitchen table a strange request, however you must understand that in our house, like many of yours I’m sure, the kitchen table is the centre of so much, it’s almost like the central nervous system of the home. So much has happened and still happens around that table, so many hours of conversation whether it is the early morning coffee with the neighbors, warm winter breakfasts, dad’s 12pm lunch or the countless dinners that have been shared or maybe it’s the late night heart to hearts. Whatever the case may be our kitchen table has and continues to host much laughter, some tears, always great food, many jokes and so much more.

Over the years I have learned that a kitchen table isn’t simply wood and varnish rather it is like a giant memory box. The kitchen table is the gathering spot where life is shared, where dreams are realized, where vision is cast and where laughter can be heard. Sadly I see many new homes being built with no kitchen and no space for a kitchen table, this is a trend in the big cities that I see has not yet hit small town Saskatchewan and I hope it never does. This ‘new way’ of living is about eating out or individual eating in your bedroom in front of the computer or television. A travesty indeed.

There is something significant about kitchen/dining tables and as I look through history I see that through feasting and dining cultures come together. There is strength in breaking bread together as families and as communities. I think about Jesus and the last supper and the fact that it was shared at a table. I find it interesting that Jesus could have chosen anywhere for this significant act to occur yet he chose the table to share such an important moment. Through this one act I have to believe that there is a message to us all. Tables are sacred places. They are a place where we can come together to talk about the hard things, to relax and enjoy each other’s company, to communicate, to eat and to simply be together.

I would like to encourage you to use your dining table to it’s full potential. Through our work with thefamilyroom I have seen countless families come together, broken hearts mended and so much more simply through sitting at the table together, sharing a meal and getting back to what really matters. I find it interesting that we are designed to enjoy food more than once a day, we are designed to stop, sit and replenish so why not start making this a critical part of our family schedules.

If you haven’t enjoyed a meal together at the family table for awhile I would like to encourage you to dust off the table, let everyone know that dinner is on at 6pm, prepare a family favorite and watch everyone enjoy each others company. I know you will be amazed. If you find yourself alone and without family then I encourage you to extend yourself and invite someone to your table. If gathering at the table is something you do regularly then please keep it up and why not invite someone over and share the time together.

As many of you know I live away from family and have done so for many years now, this being the case, there is one thing I know for sure, if I call at dinner time I know I will always get an answer and if it’s a party or special occasion, and everyone’s home but me, as the phone is being passed around I know exactly where everyone will be sitting - being able to do this warms my soul and the simplicity of this allows me a feeling of everything being well with the world.

To conclude I am happy to report that my parents have said I can have the old kitchen table that still holds the chip that I etched out one warm summer day in 1978. I know that as the years continue and as life changes I will hear the voices of my family and friends simply by sitting at that table and allowing the richness and memories flood my mind. Let me encourage you to use your tables and remember to always put an extra potato in the pot or rice in the cooker and leave room to squeeze one more in just in case someone turns up at dinner time.

Lonely World - Part Two

After receiving so many emails from people about the last article 'Lonely World' I decided I needed to do a part two. Can I say that I would love it if you would convert your emails into comments on the blog itself. Although I do enjoy the emails I can tell you that many people would be encouraged and challenged by the comments you make to me personally.

I received and overwhelming response to the article and found that most people are willing to step out a little further and try and reach people. The challenge seems to be time and confidence. So, with this in mind I am going to try and give you a few tips on how to overcome these two challenges.

Time:
This is something thefamilyroom girls discuss regularly and it is something that most people grapple with. How do you find TIME to do what you need to do? In our busy schedules how do you carve out space for yourself, let alone space for someone else? Well friends, to have time you have to make time. I strongly suggest (as I have before) journal what your week looks like. Do it like you would a food diary (we've all had one of those at one time or another) if you will. Write everything down for an entire week. At the end of a week look at what you've accomplished and how much time you spent doing everything. Then, at the beginning of the following week set some goals, things that need to happen and again journal your week. At then end of that week, sit down and access.

In doing this simple exercise I'm confident you, like myself, will find time. You will realise that there are somethings you are doing that you don't need to, some you are taking to much time doing them, etc., etc., etc. Before you know it you will have found time to do something different and you will be using your time much more effectively.

This is a great exercise to do not only for yourself but for your family as a whole. You can also use it to help those friends whom you know are struggling with time.

Confidence:
This one is simple. Put one foot in front of the other and just make it happen. Do it with fear and trembling if you need to, just do it.
If you're inviting someone over for dinner cook something you know really well. You really don't need to turn into Martha Stewart overnight!!! People just want to be included, they aren't looking for a 5-star performance or a performance at all, they are simply looking for a sense of belonging and significance.
So, keep it simple. We've had some of our best parties or get together(s) simply by scouring the pantry and kitchen and pulling a meal together.
The main ingredients you will need: an open door, laughter and an interest in someone else.

You may be reading this saying, "this is easy for you, you're not me I don't know how to do this." To that I will remind you that I too had to start somewhere and put one foot in front of the other. You can do this and it's amazing how the simplest of things can make the biggest difference. Dare to be different and make a difference in someone else's life.

Susan J. Sohn

ps - remember if you need food ideas check out our archives for great, simple, familyroom tried and true recipes.
xoxo

A Lonely World

As most of you know, our family have been in LA for the last few months. Having grown up in Canada, lived in Hong Kong and Sydney, Australia I consider myself to have lived in some of the most amazing places in the world, especially when it comes to community and hospitality. I now find myself in what they call the city of Angels and I have to believe it's called that because the need for Angels here is so huge. This is a big, lonely city and from what I can see, a city that has become hard and callous towards the human heart and emotions.

Yesterday I sat at my son's basketball game and chatted with a gentle, kind hearted father of one of the boys on the opposing team, we new each other because we were on the same soccer team last season. This nice man hails from Bombay, India and has been in LA for the past 12 years. In between our air punching and team chants and individual hoorays, we found space to have an incredible conversation. During our conversation he asked me what it was that I did; at which point I told him about thefamilyroom. He was extremely interested and began asking questions. As I answered, he asked more and finally began to share about his own life. With tears in his eyes he told me how his marriage was an arranged marriage and after years of trying to make it work, he found the challenge was maybe more than he could take. He told me that he had known his wife for all of 1 month before they wed. Our discussion was varied and included that of arranged marriages vs what he called ‘marriages of love’, we covered a great deal during that 60 minute game. He shared with me about living in LA and how different it was to India and how lonely he and his family were, how community just wasn't anything like he knew or loved. I could relate and understand. This conversation caused me to think and stirred me to write.

Whether you find yourself in a big city, medium sized city or small town and whether you yourself are lonely please understand that there are lonely people everywhere. According to a recent Harvard Study loneliness, which can lead to extreme depression, is becoming one of the top killers in society today. It's sad to think that we, as people, have become so distant from one another, especially when we know we were created to be in relationship and that our inner most being craves connectivity.

I would like to encourage you today, as we always do through thefamilyroom, to extend yourself. Invite someone over for dinner or out for coffee, open your hearts and doors and allow people in. Let’s dare to be different, dare to be known as people of kindness and generosity, allow your homes to be the homes on the street that people want to come to. Allow your home to be a light in a world where darkness, sadness and loneliness seem to be on the increase.

Through my conversation at the basketball game this man came to understand that I have a love for Indian food that stems from my childhood and amazing family friends. He learned that I enjoy cooking Indian food and that I'm not afraid to try anything. Interestingly enough, as I have said in the past, it is the dining table and food that will bring this man, his family and hopefully ours together and perhaps for one night their loneliness will be forgotten and replaced by a feeling of belonging, connectivity and community.

Imagine what the world would be like if we all cared just a little more.

Susan

Something New and Quick

Hey all hope your day is going well and if it's just started I hope it's a great one!

I've struggled today wondering what to post on the blog and have only now, at 11:52 am, realized what it is that I should write about. So friends today is super simple, it's short but it's good (at least I think so anyway)!

Today I want to encourage you to do a few things and they are:

1) Do something new: That's right, do something that you've never done before. What could that be? Cook something different for dinner, learn a new word and use it, learn about a country or people group that you know nothing about, listen to different music. I say this because I think it's important that we continue to grow and expand and learning is a great way to do that. Challenge your brain a little today.

2) Do something that scares you: Yes, step out into the 'scary, where fear and trembling happen and your palms sweat'. How can you do this? Call someone who has been on your mind and just let them know you've been thinking about them. This could be, and most probably will be, someone you don't usually talk to (that's the scary part) and at the risk of sounding silly know that you are letting them know they matter. Take a risk to believe the impossible because believing means you're half way there.

3) Love more: Change the worlds of those around you simply by showing your love more today than you have in the past. Surprise everyone with a little more.

That's all, three simple things that are inexpensive but perhaps costly emotionally and stretching personally. You can do this and can you imagine if all of us reading this did it ~ the world would be a different place.

We love you and believe in you. Remember to share your stories with us.

Susan J. Sohn

Today He's 40!

Today is a big day for our family, it is my hubby’s birthday and he is 40 and I'm almost speechless. Where have the years gone? It's almost like yesterday we were standing at the altar saying 'I do' and in a blink our first was born, quick on her heels our second and then like a flash our baby and now 40 years old.

I’ve found myself smiling today, almost breaking out into laughter realizing that my man is 40. I’ve almost had to pinch myself in order to wake up from this dream I seem to be in. He’s 40 and I honestly believe we are entering into some of the best years of our life. We’ve said good bye to the early years of marriage, nappies, most sleepless nights, diaper rash and all the rest that we all know so well.

What’s really funny about Philip’s birthday is that last night our family went out for a quick meal and both Philip and I were asked for ID when ordering a glass of wine with dinner. We both looked at each other, had a giggle and eagerly handed over our ID. Once the waiter realized our ages he was quick to ask what kind of diet we were on and what was in the water we were drinking. He told us that he thought Philip was around 27 and me 25 and wasn’t convinced our 3 children could be ours.......very funny and needless to say rather uplifting.

What does 40 look like in our house? A fit, healthy man who loves God, his wife, children, family and friends. He is kind, gentle and very funny, he is firm and affirming. He is strong and loving and he can laugh at himself. He lights up the room with his smile and his children and wife adore him. He is business minded but is generously seasoned with creativity. He loves to snowboard, skateboard, play poker with friends, sing for hours and loves a good game of chess. He is adventurous and spontaneous yet extremely well planned. Simply put, “He makes 40 look great”!

I will sign off today with a word of encouragement to those of you who have already reached this milestone, stay strong, keep running the race and run well. For those of you who are closing in on 40 get excited because from what I can see it only gets better. For me I’m excited today because I can see a few gray hairs and a few tiny wrinkles that remind me how divine my hubby is and how the years of good, hard and otherwise have shaped him and prepared him for the years ahead.

Truly life begins at 40!!!!

Code of Conduct

I heard it said once that if you stand for nothing you will fall for anything. I think that’s an extremely powerful statement. I know in my own life there have been moments and situations that I have been saved from, simply because I knew exactly where I stood personally and at times corporately.

Hearing this statement caused me to consider my life today. I am a wife and mother of three who, together with my husband Philip, are trying to raise strong, confident, compassionate children who will hopefully make a difference in this world. With this in mind I’ve realised that it is incumbent upon Philip and myself to know exactly where we stand and what we believe in so that we can give our children a foundation to stand on.

This brings me to the Code of Conduct, which means ‘a set of conventional principles and expectations that are considered binding on any person who is a member of a particular group’. We need to establish our own, personal Family Code of Conduct, this will allow each person the ability to know exactly what we as families stand for and what the expectations are of everyone in the group/family. The grey is erased, everyone is on solid, common ground and together families can move forward.

I’m not naïve enough to think that something like this will save us all from possible heart ache, pain and tears that will be shed over the years. However I do believe that when there is a common goal and a thread that brings us together as families, when we know what we stand for, falling for anything else is a lot harder. When we come face-to-face with the possibility of falling that’s when we hear that still small voice that calls us back and helps us to stand in the midst of craziness, strangeness, darkness and confusion.

Whatever the age of your children or grandchildren talk to them and together; establish your own Family Code of Conduct.

Susan

Health and Fitness 08

For many of you 'regular readers' you know that in February 07 Belinda Dell and I decided to get serious with our fitness level. As we approach February 08 I'm happy to report that we, and now along with many others who have joined us, are still on track and going strong.

We will again start to update you regularly and let you know how we are going. You will also need to keep an eye on our Facebook Group and the videos I love so much because I might, just might be considering taking you into the gym with me (to join our Facebook Group go to http://www.facebook.com and then search the family room). I have found that so many of us get 'stuck' on the couch, watching those darn infomercials and forget that we actually have to get up, put on our joggers (running shoes) and get moving. Through sharing my routine with a few friends and just a few very simple things I am doing somehow I think I've managed to de-mystify the dreaded exercise routine and make it do-able for everyone. I just need you to promise not to laugh at my outfit - don't worry I ditched the late 90's thong number with the spandex.....what a disaster that was!!!!!

So today, January 28, 2008 allow me to be that voice of encouragement once more that would say, "come on people let's move, let's make a difference in our own lives and the lives of those depending on us!" You won't regret making a change, I can tell you that I feel so much better today than I did January 2007 (prior to getting serious) and I know January 2009 is going to be amazing as I continue to build Health and Fitness into my life.

Let's get moving!

Susan

Drugs, Drugs and more Drugs! When is enough ~ enough?

Today I’m going to revisit an article that I wrote and posted on our blogspot on November 28, 2007. The article was titled ‘The War on Drugs’ and I encourage you to pull it up and have a read (simply visit our blogspot and check out November archives).

I am again reminded of this vicious War and all out attack on our children, young adults and older, by the recent death of actor Heath Ledger. Drugs are changing our world and we must encourage open conversations in our homes and through our extended relationships about the danger of drugs and the affect they ARE and CAN have in all of our lives.

The harsh and sad reality is that drugs are made available to all of us. Not only are they found on the school ground, the street, in the work environment but they are in our own homes in the form of prescription medication ~ a new way to use, that is rapidly growing (again I urge you to read our article called ‘The War on Drugs’ for more information about prescription drug use).

The average age of regular drug usage is lowing daily. According to a report I heard recently only 50% of parents talk to their children about illegal drugs and only 30% talk to them about prescription drugs. This problem is real and none of us are exempt. Our children are being exposed earlier and we as parents and in some cased grandparents or care-givers aren’t talking about it enough which is causing our children to be ill equipped to handle the pressure and influences they face on a daily basis. We MUST keep the lines of communication open.

We need to stand up taller, speak louder and know that our voice matters both on the macro side of this WAR and the micro (in our homes). Talk to your children, show them examples of what drug use CAN and WILL do to them. Don’t be afraid to show them the reality that may lie behind the first hit of anything. Lives are hanging in the balance.

Heath Ledger a 28-year old young man and father is gone. I believe he will be remembered as a great actor and all that he brought to the world of entertainment, however louder than his acting ability will be the fact that his early death was caused by ‘suspected drug use’.

Let’s not put up with anymore ‘useless’ deaths, let’s not run the risk with our children anymore. When was the last time you talked to your children, whatever ever their age, about drugs? Do it today and keep them safe.

Susan

A Life Beyond Yourself

Hello to everyone. I find myself writing this with a smile on my face because I am sitting in the Toyota Dealership. I have just dropped my car off for a service and I wondered what I was going to do for the 1.5 hour wait (if there was no one to talk to....I love talking). Much to my surprise not only is there hot coffee and tea, muffins, bottled water and juice on hand but Internet access! Who would have thought that local car dealerships would provide so much ~ a strong bid for our business I guess and today Toyota is tops for me. I'm able to accomplish multiple tasks while sitting waiting for my car.

If you haven't already read Sam's recent post 'What's Good for You' I encourage you to do so. The post is all about 'acts of kindness' and how being kind and doing things for others can benefit our health. This is something I've been thinking about lately not so much from a health perspective but through the lives of our children. I am convinced that one way to keep our children out of harms way (whatever their ages) and away from some of the things that are available to them and seem appealing, is through being involved in something beyond themselves. Being part of something that not only occupies time but thought life as well, is a valuable part of all of our lives. You know what is said about idleness.

I think (and remember this is MY thinking) that as parents, we can get busy and sadly our children are the one's who pay the price. During these 'busy' times children will find things to connect to/with and before long we're asking how they got involved in that, or why they have changed. Sadly I've had conversations with many parents about how they can't get their teenager off the computer or out of their bedroom. Parents tell me that conversations have turned to grunting when passing in the hallway rather than the meaningful conversations, they once shared, covering the things that matter in their world.

It is our responsibility to help our children find things that will ignite something within them. Helping them live a life beyond themselves is a valuable life lesson that will help propel them into the future. When your thoughts are consumed by bigger and greater things and ways that you can make a difference or be involved, the world looks so different and so much more inviting. There is a need within each one of us to belong to something and to find our own significance.

Our children are learning about things earlier than we did, and in some cases they are experiencing things earlier as well. Whether that's right or wrong it's happening and we need to help them navigate this delicate season of their lives.

Today my 6.5 year old headed off to school with $10.00 of his own pocket money to give to a mission's project the school is involved in. He has displayed and shared his thoughts towards helping the poor many times and today he put action to his words. It is now Philip and my responsiblity to help him carve out a way that he can make a difference in this area. He obviously has a soft heart towards people and we need to put tools in his hand that will help him develop this amazing area of his life. This is an example of a young boy living a life beyond himself and we need to let him know that he can make a difference, we need to encourage him to dream, we need to let him try.

I want to encourage you to listen to your children, really listen and find out what makes them tick. Everyone has a dream and that dream is unique to each individual ~ don't expect all your children to share the same dream. Help your children see their dream become a reality and again remember it doesn't matter what age your children are. This year I will be celebrating my 38th birthday and my parents continue to help me carve out my dream. They listen to me, they discuss things with me, they share their ideas with me and I'm so thankful for that. So, if you have a 6.5 year old like me or your baby is 14, 18, 19 ,20 or 38 help them navigate the waters of life.

Finally I would like to ask if you would share your thoughts on how you can or how you have helped your children live lives beyond themselves. Where you have seen success? What are some great ideas you can share with thefamilyroom community?

Susan

Summer Apples

Have you ever found yourself traveling through life and in a moment you are thrown back in time due to a smell, song on the radio, or just a feeling in the air?

Well friends let me share my today with you.

After a busy holiday season, I have finally had a day to myself to reflect and project. We are over one week into the new year, and today was my day to consider the days, weeks and months ahead of me. There are changes in the wind for us (as a family), risks to be taken, advances to be made, and with all of this comes a certain level of uncertainty. I know all of you reading know exactly what I’m talking about. I spent much of my morning on and off the phone with my mother, passing things by her, talking my way through the waters that I’m navigating. I am so blessed to have a mother who simply listens (endlessly....poor woman), she gives me suggestions, and shares bits and pieces from her journey, allowing me to extract what I want and need from her story. Words from wiser, well traveled people are almost like an anti virus serum that can protect us from contracting unnecessary situations as we travel through life.

Moving along......my youngest daughter and I needed to do some much needed unpacking of our ‘holiday car’ ~ you know the drill, candy canes stuck to the carpet, dirt, grim and mud everywhere, the odd dried up MacDonald’s fry in between the seats, spilled Starbucks in the cup holders....fun, fun, fun. As we headed to the garage I walked straight into and old familiar smell, that as I said threw me straight back to my childhood years. It was the smell of Summer Apples, that came every year when the fruit truck arrived in our community. The smell of those apples saturated us, and it’s a smell I associate with my younger years.

I remember the excitement, knowing that the fruit truck was soon to arrive at our neighbors house (the same house every year). The day it would arrive, we would pile into the car, the windows down (no air conditioning then), the radio was on, and away we went in search of the best fruit in town. There were peaches, pears, cherries, apricots and the plums.....yummo. Strangely enough the apple was the smell that permeated the air.

So, today some 30 years later, I have found myself considering the year/s ahead. Uncertainty filled my mind, moments of fear tried to creep in, concern definitely found a home, and as I walked toward the job at hand, within a millisecond I was thrown back to a place in time where everything stood still. I could see my mother negotiating her purchases, I could hear the voices of my childhood friends, I could see the strange old fruit man standing on the truck yelling out prices, and I could taste the sweetness of the peaches that were on sample for all to try. In that millisecond every thought I had exercised today was brought back into perspective for me. I felt safe and secure in the knowledge that no matter what lies ahead, it will be okay, the days will turn into weeks, the weeks into years and we will remain standing.

I pray that in my home and through my children’s childhood there are familiar smells, sounds and feelings that in 30 more years will bring the same feeling I have felt today. It is our today’s that make the difference in tomorrow and beyond. Be wise, be happy and love lots!

Susan xo