Keep the kissing alive

In the run up to Valentine’s Day this year, I was thinking about what my husband of 17 years would really love.

I considered spending money and buying him something nice, or maybe taking him out for a great meal, just the two of us.

What a dilemma.

Now, those of you who know me are aware that I am not the most romantic woman on this earth. Don’t get me wrong, I love it when my husband Mark and I do get the chance to be romantic with each other, but with three kids and endless weekly activities, we are often too busy. We are continually trying to work out ways of finding more time for each other.

Well, here’s what I did. I decided to write him a letter and print it on nice paper, then put some love hearts on it and so on. My 10-year-old daughter came to the rescue and helped me include some pictures – thank goodness for computer-savvy kids.

Then, I thought about the fact that I really don’t kiss him enough. He is the most loving, caring and affectionate man I know and he deserves so much more from me.

When Valentine’s Day finally came around, the weather was cold and miserable, so we stayed home and enjoyed a wonderful family meal. But I was able to give Mark his letter and I made sure I gave him a huge, sloppy kiss. He just loved it!

So, I’m sharing this story with you all today to encourage couples out there to rekindle the kissing in your marriages. It’s an intimate moment and is guaranteed to bring you much closer together.

Belinda

The Journey and the Destination

Enjoy the journey

Having small children, I enjoy the privilege of experiencing the wonder of childhood almost every day.

Last weekend, I took my kids on the Toronto subway for the very first time. On entering, my seven-year-old could barely contain his excitement at the thought of speeding through an underground tunnel on a train. He clutched his younger sister’s hand on the platform, their eyes glittering in anticipation. We managed to get the front seat next to the conductor. My children sat backwards with their faces plastered against the window, and I couldn’t help compare their wonder with the adult interpretation of the ride: the dull, daily ritual that transports them to and from work each day.

I believe that deep within us all, lies a longing to recapture this innocent celebration of life. I saw glimpses of that desire show itself in the smiles on the faces of nearby passengers as they watched my children marvel in the simplicity of a ride on the subway. Their joy was contagious and many were eager to be part of it.

When we emerged from the subway on the way to the famous Royal Ontario Museum, I wondered what my kids would remember more fondly – the ride on the subway or the visit to the museum itself. As is true with many things, isn’t the journey often more memorable than the destination?

Rebecca

Room makeover - one happy tween

Recently, a friend of mine shared a story with me about her tween daughter. She noticed that her daughter wasn't really herself.

I asked questions, trying to find out what she thought was going on. In the end, it appeared that her daughter was struggling with a recent move their family had made. She wasn't feeling that she fit in and was missing the things she knew and loved.

Apparently, her daughter is the type of girl who likes to be at home and loves to curl up with a good book. She enjoys being surrounded by family, friends and all the things she loves.

During our conversation, I asked my friend what her daugther's bedroom was like. I asked this only because, having a daugther of my own, I understand the importance of them having a space they are proud of and something that truly reflects who they are. Like our own bedrooms, our children deserve a comfortable place to lay their heads whilst they consider the issues of the world according to them.

My friend shared with me that she hadn't paid much attention to her daughter's room, in fact, it was more of a shell with a bed. She actually wasn't sure what to do with the room, and wasn't sure how to reflect her daughter's eclectic nature.

Armed with this information, I headed to one of our familyroom decorating and design experts, Suzie Crocker (Michaela Grul is also one of our truly gifted space creators). Suzie was enlisted to help this young girl out and ultimately this family.

In an effort to truly bring this young girl's style to life, Suzie spent time with her. She asked questions and discovered what was needed. After a day of shopping and a day of decorating, this shell of a room was turned into a tween-come-teen haven. A comfortable yet functional room for a growing young girl.

Suzie incorporated her love of reading with an exceptional chair and side table, a desk for study with all the necessary day to day school supplies plus some special additions for tackling the last minute search for project material.

Suzie found oversized pillows and age appropriate bed linen and artwork. She hung photos of her friends and family above her desk which serve as a reminder of how loved she is. The room truly took on the personality of this young girl.

To hear Suzie discuss this project and other decorating and organising ideas jump onto http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanjsohn and listen LIVE or on DEMAND to our March 25th show where Suzie and Susan talk about Making a house a home and a home a haven.

Please email your questions, pictures or problem areas to familyroomaus@gmail.com and Suzie will do her best to help you create a space you will love.

Susan

A powerful partnership

If you’ve been listening to Coffee with Susan and Friends on blogtalk radio (http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanjsohn), I’m sure you’ve heard conversations about keeping kids safe. Not having my own children yet, my take on these discussions would be quite different from many of you, although I do care greatly about this issue. As someone who works with children and families, I understand the amazing partnership between parents and childcare workers.

I remember an incident that happened when I was in Grade 6 which showed this partnership in action.

There was a student in another Grade 6 class who would bring Tylenol with her to school and distribute it to other students during recess. The students who took the Tylenol didn't have any aches or pains, they took it just for the sake of it.

A bit confused (I had trouble swallowing pills as a young girl), I talked to my mum about this. As a concerned parent, she naturally (or maybe not so naturally) contacted the school so that the Grade 6 teachers were aware of what was going on in the playground.

Within a few days, all the Grade 6 children were crammed into a room with the school nurse who proceeded to tell us about the dangers of taking medication – when it’s needed, when it’s not needed, the possible side effects and so on.

Soon after this meeting, the "Tylenol dealing" came to an end.

A little while ago, my husband and I had a run-in with a young man who was telling us about watching inappropriate movies for someone his age (or any age in my personal opinion). At first we were both uncomfortable with how to deal with this. Were his parents allowing him to watch these films? Should we ask at the risk of seeming judgmental, or would our concern be welcome?

Thankfully, this mother came to us asking if her son had mentioned anything. We then proceeded to say that he had. It came as such a relief to her to know that we were concerned as well. Together, we came up with a plan on how to discourage this young man from watching these shows in a diplomatic, yet very serious manner.

I think parents often feel they are alone in educating their children how to be "street wise" and how to make wise decisions. This is quite unfortunate because of all the resources available through schools and other places where extra-curricular activities happen.

Let it be known that I personally believe in these partnerships as I have seen a very positive outcome. If you are a parent, I would encourage you to spend time voicing your concerns to your children's teachers/childcare workers etc. Together the two are capable of shaping incredible young people.

Love you loads!
~cj

Reasons to be cheerful (and grateful)

A year ago, Brisbane photographer and mother-of-two Hailey Bartholomew began a project which would change her life.

On each of the past 365 days, she has taken a Polaroid picture of something she was grateful for. From the simple to the sublime, she has snapped colourful umbrellas in the rain, a friend's wedding, a surprise gift, a beautiful leaf or flower, the list goes on and on.

Hailey's gallery of photographs now forms an inspiring collection which she has catalogued into a leather-bound album for her daughters.

Hailey was recently featured in an article in Notebook magazine here in Australia (http://www.notebookmagazine.com/) where she describes how her project began after she was counselled by a nun to reflect on the good in each day.

As the year progressed, she became more and more aware of the beautiful moments and situations in each day – ones that she would normally miss. Pausing to look for the positive has now become a habit which she plans to continue.

To see Hailey’s photographs, go to her website http://www.youcantbeserious.com.au/ and click on Flickr Galleries. You can also read more about the 365 Days of Grateful project on her blog http://www.youcantbeserious.com.au/blog/.

Inspired by Hailey, my daughter and I have decided to have a go at our own Grateful Project. It was Emily’s birthday earlier this week and, because one of her gifts was a camera, we’ve decided now is the perfect time to begin.

I’ll let you know how we go!
Deborah

Head for the hills

When my husband suggested we enrol our kids into a 10-week ski program this winter, my initial reaction was one of doubt.

We barely had any family time as it was. Joining the course would mean dedicating two full days every weekend throughout January, February and a bit of March to skiing – something I wasn’t big on to start with. It would be in addition to gymnastics and karate, and would cut into, I thought, our already minimal family time.

However, we live only 10 minutes from the hills and I would rather have my children learn how to ski safely than worry about them when we go there. So I agreed.

I knew my son would be fine. He always is. He is the kind of kid who will try any new food, makes friends easily and dives into new activities with full enthusiasm. And I was right. He was fine as usual.

But I wondered about my four-year-old daughter. Being the second and youngest child, she has always been a bit of a momma’s girl and a definite “leg-clinger”, if you know what I mean. I imagined hectic mornings, talking her into getting ready, perhaps even resorting to bribery. I envisioned cold feet with lots of whining.

My assumptions were wrong.

First of all, instead of losing family time, we actually gained (and improved) it! With the kids in lessons in the mornings, my husband and I could spend time together. And even better, it was outdoors in the fresh air being active, something we used to do before we were married. And through the ski club, we have made a ton of wonderful new friends. The same people go every weekend and we all have similar interests with kids the same age. As newcomers to the area, this is one of the best things we have done.

My daughter, Tanyss, has turned out to be a true ski bunny. She wakes up each morning with: “Is it a ski day?” And if the answer is yes, she brings her elbow down to her waist with an emphatic “Yessss!” Unlike school days, she is dressed and has gathered her ski gear together before I can say a word.

And when her lessons are done for the day, she will usually insist on continuing to ski until the lifts have stopped running.

It is such a joy to see Tanyss on the slopes. Her ski skills are good, but more than that, a self-confidence has emerged which I have never seen in her before.

It all goes to show that sometimes we need to push our motherly doubts aside and let our children grow as they will.

Rebecca

For mothers everywhere

Every now and then, an email drops into your inbox which brings a message so timely and relevant that it stops you in your tracks.

This one struck a chord with us here at thefamilyroom and today we would like to share it with you.

So grab a cuppa, sit back and enjoy this inspiring story.

Invisible mother

It all began to make sense. The blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking: “Can't you see I'm on the phone?” Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible.

The invisible mum. Some days, I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! “Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?” Some days, I'm not a pair of hands, I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask: “What time is it?” I'm a satellite guide to answer: “What number is the Disney Channel?” I'm a car to order: “Right around 5:30pm, please.”

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude – but now they’ve disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating a friend’s return from England. Janice had just come back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said: “I brought you this.” It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: “To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.”

In the days ahead, I would read – no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would, for me, become four life-changing truths upon which I could pattern my work:

• No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names
• These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished
• They made great sacrifices and expected no credit
• The passion of their building was fuelled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built. He saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man: “Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, no one will ever see it.” And the workman replied: “Because God sees.”

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me: “I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you sees. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.”

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up for a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that will never carry their name. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving: “My Mum gets up at 4am and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand-bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linen for the table.” That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add: “You're gonna love it there.”

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

The magical mystery tour

My husband has a way with kids. Perhaps it is because he is still a kid at heart himself, but whatever the reason, I don’t mind because he has saved the day on more than one occasion.

The other weekend, we had a school holiday on Friday. This can be good or bad depending on how the day goes. But on this particular morning, my kids were feeling restless and the household was in chaos for lack of a plan.

My daughter (4) was intent on going skiing and was scrambling around collecting her gear. My son (7) wanted to go for a swim at the Rec centre which is part of our condo complex, and was filling a backpack with towels and goggles. I thought we should all just get outside – something that usually calms the kids and seemed to be the most direct and easiest route out of the house.

But then my husband exclaimed: “Grab your blindfolds everyone, we’re going on a Magical Mystery Tour!” My kids dropped everything, put on their jackets and boots and ran around excitedly. They had experienced the “Tour” when we lived in BC and were delighted to re-live some wonderful memories. We had often used the Magical Mystery Tour as a way to get out of the house quickly.

So we all climbed into the car, with the kids blindfolded in the back. As we turned right or left, they tried to guess where we were going. As it turned out, we ended up on a section of the Bruce Trail, a hiking path that runs from one side of Canada to the other. My husband handed each of them a basket and we proceeded to go on a spontaneous scavenger hunt.

It was a gorgeous, sunny day and the snow on the trail was crisp. As we hiked along, my husband called out the things they needed to find. First something red, then something soft, something alive, a flower, and so on. The kids had a blast and delighted in their afternoon adventure. When we got home, they were calm and played nicely together until dinner.

I highly recommend the Magical Mystery Tour if your kids are between 3 and 7. Not only does it bring some adventure and structure into their day, but it makes for an exciting family outing.

You could end your mystery tour at a nearby park, a hiking trail, a friend’s house, a beach or even a science centre. It doesn’t really matter where you go, but getting out into nature is one of our personal favourites.

Next time you need ideas for a fun, family day out, why not give it a go – it’s guaranteed to be a hit.

Rebecca

Random acts of kindness

Never underestimate the power of a random act of kindness.

Like ripples radiating from a rock thrown onto the smooth surface of a lake, so the effects of a good deed can encourage and inspire others. And, like those ripples, the effect can be much greater and spread much further than you could ever have imagined.

I witnessed a tiny example of this sitting in the queue at the petrol station. In Sydney, Tuesday is the cheap day for fuel. For reasons unrelated to market forces or the global economy, Sydney “servos” lower their prices on the second day of the week and cause a mini-stampede of drivers keen to bag a bargain.

As you would imagine, this means queueing for ages and tempers can easily get frayed.

On this particular day, I was four or five cars back in line waiting to use the petrol pump. There were another four identical queues stretching across the forecourt and beyond.

I watched as the driver at the front of our queue finished filling up and slotted the nozzle back into the pump. However, instead of dashing inside to pay his bill, he hopped behind the wheel of his car, started the engine and moved his vehicle forward. This meant the next driver in line could start the job in hand much sooner.

I’m sure each person in that queue was delighted to know they would be home for dinner 10 minutes earlier that night. But it didn’t end there. Taking the generous driver’s lead, each person in turn began moving their car forward as they finished at the pump, a minor inconvenience for them, but a major benefit to those waiting. And each driver smiled and thanked the next as they went on their way – what an amazing chain reaction from such a tiny good deed.

There is a quote in The Shack by William P. Young that goes as follows:

“If anything matters, then everything matters. Because you are important, everything you do is important. Every time you forgive, the universe changes; every time you reach out and touch a heart or a life, the world changes. With every kindness and service, seen or unseen, his purposes are accomplished and nothing will ever be the same again.”

I love to think that in that tiny moment in time at a Sydney petrol station, when one driver chose to inconvenience himself to benefit everyone else, the universe changed in ways that we will never fully know.

Deborah

Won’t you be my neighbour?

I remember watching Mister Rogers' Neighborhood when I was young. He would always sing a song asking me (and all the other children viewing his show) to be his neighbour. After watching each 30-minute episode, I'd plan ways in my head to become a neighbour to someone so kind and friendly ...

Although I've never been Mr Rogers’ neighbour, I most certainly have lived in communities with people much like him – people who genuinely care about those in their communities. That's the kind of neighbour I aspire to be.

I live in a small town just minutes from the city I grew up in. It's quite incredible the difference a smaller centre can make in bringing neighbours together.

There's a bakery in my town that has the most delicious pastries ever! It's locally owned and it seems like there's always a vehicle parked out front picking up a loaf of freshly baked bread, or goodies to take home and share with the family.

There's also a gas station just as you enter our town. It's one of the few “Full Service” stations in our area. There always seems to be teenage boys standing about waiting for the next customer to roll up and proclaim "fill 'er up".

In this economic crisis, it’s quite evident that people are tightening their belts, including my husband and I. I have become quite the sale shopper and spend time going through flyers looking for the best deals on the goods needed in our home. However, one place that we refuse to cut costs is when it comes to supporting our local businesses.

Sure, I could buy bread at the grocery store for a more inexpensive price. And I could fill up my car with gas at a station that's self serve and spend less.

But then, what kind of neighbour am I being?

If I fail to be a good neighbour and support those who invest so much of their time into making my town better, I'm not only tightening my belt, but I'm also becoming stingy. This economic crisis is no doubt affecting the small businesses in my community, I would hate to be a contributing factor to businesses closing and my neighbours moving away.

I want to be known as someone who lives generously. I want to contribute to a community that lives generously.

I want to be like Mr Rogers.

CJ

Male presence

Stuck in traffic on my way home from work, a quick glance to my right caused me to well up with tears. No, it wasn’t a car crash, it was simply a dad walking along with his daughter, swinging her hand, both of them laughing at something. It was nothing special. It was nothing out of the ordinary. But for my daughter, it’s something she has never experienced with her own father.

There are so many of us, even some of you married girls, who have found themselves wondering when the men in our lives (if any) will either step up, stand up or just show up for us and/or our kids.

These are the moments that I, and many mums who have walked the path of parenting alone, can make a split-second choice to fall apart with regret, hurt and aching or blink back the tears, brace ourselves and see the flip side of the situation, which for me is to be grateful for the men in my life who add so much. Having my father as a strong presence in my daughter’s life is a gift that I will never take for granted … I know not everyone has that.

The older my daughter gets, the more I see her need for a strong and trusted male presence to be a part of her life. I’m sure everyone’s view on this will vary, but in my experience, Mannie’s life is richer and her smile is stronger when I see the positive effect my dad, my brothers and my male friends have on her.

My father volunteered for many years at a drug and alcohol rehabilitation centre where numerous young men’s lives were touched by the simple presence of my father teaching them woodwork. Again nothing special, nothing extraordinary, but it had an effect that not even my dad saw coming. After years of dedication, my father was nominated by these young men as Father of the Year in 2000 and won. A testimony to a man who saw the value in time and patience extended to those in need … who saw that fathering could reach beyond the walls of his home.

To the men reading this, I thank you for all your efforts with your families. The fruits of your labour will be great. And to those readers who are finding themselves in lack, I urge you to put your hand up, quash the supergirl act for a second and ask your friends’ husbands, your brothers, your friends to take time out for your kids. An hour kicking a football or painting a fence won’t kill anyone and the benefits just may astound you.

Michaela

How to cater for 25 adults + children

Hey all, I hope everyone has had an extraordinary weekend. I know I did.

As usual, I posted a quick update on my twitter account and this one obviously caught the eye of many of my followers. I simply said something to the effect of: "Susan is hosting 25 adults plus children for Sunday lunch."

I was pleasantly surprised by all the good wishes I received and the questions regarding how I (as one person) was going to prepare and host this many people.

Well friends, in true family room style, I did it. We all had a great time, the clean-up was quick and relatively painless and I'm onto tonight's dinner of lamb chops and all the fixins.

So, how does one cater for this many people? Simple, a one-pot meal plus salads, bread rolls and an extra crock-pot of meatballs on the side.

Let me start at the beginning (it's the very best place to start :)!

Friday night, we had a family from school over for a nice, very relaxed dinner. We had a great evening of good food (that amazing and very simple, yet dazzling, recipe to come this week ... stay tuned), great conversation, lots of laughs and a new friendship was birthed. What a great night. Saturday night saw us treated to dinner at our great friend's home. As they say, what goes around comes around. Another great night.

On the way home from our Saturday dinner, we did a quick stop at the supermarket. I purchased a few ingredients that I was missing for Sunday's feast, headed home and began to chop and cook whilst enjoying the company of my eldest daughter (hubby took the two little ones, told stories and tucked them in for some much-needed sleep). My daughter and I not only got a huge head start on Sunday's lunch, we also had a great conversation. It's amazing how much you can learn when you spend quality and quantity time together (read The Gift of Time post from Monday, November 24, 2008).

Our Menu for the Lunch (all recipes will be posted later on this blog):

• Susan's Yummo Chilli
• Crunchy Salad
• Macaroni Salad
• Veggie Stick Platter
• Bread Rolls
• Extra Crock Pot of Meatballs

We prepared everything ahead of time, we even set the table and chopped the vegetables for the veggie platter. We placed everything in containers in the fridge ready to be assembled on Sunday following church (you see, we didn't have all Sunday morning to prepare).

Once home (after church), I had a few last minute clean-up duties to tend to. My eldest was placed on vacuum duty, my son on upstairs tidy and my little one on play room clean-up. I then prepared the last minute sauces, heated up the chilli, added the spices, arranged plates and cuttlery plus small bowls (for the chilli). My husband ran out for a 'forgotten' ingredient, returned home and created a fun atmosphere through his music choice.

We were ready. I believe in order to host people in your home the trick is to keep it simple. Don't stress and complicate matters. People just want to be invited and included. Who would think that a pot of chilli would be appropriate to serve people? We seem to think the simple foods we eat should only be for our family ... well friends, I think if it's good enough for my family, then it's good enough for all!!!!

I hope you are encouraged to open your doors and invite someone in. It's not hard, truly it's only hard in our head. Once we simplify and get everyone involved, whether you are hosting 2 or 25, the difference can only be heard in the sound of the voices resonating through your home. Only one sound (for me) tops that of people coming together and that's the sound of my children's laughter - which, by the way, could be heard throughout our Sunday fun.

Susan

Check out http://www.susanjoansohn.blogspot.com/ and join the challenge. You WON'T want to miss this one!

Delicious dumplings

Hi everyone,

I have just discovered a great, easy recipe for dumplings. It’s a fun way to get the kids involved in cooking and you can add some Asian veggies and sushi to make a healthy meal.
(For the fussy ones, you can leave out the ginger and mushrooms).

Enjoy!
Jane

Makes 25
Ingredients
Chicken and shiitake dumplings
3 dried shiitake mushrooms
250g chicken mince
3 spring onions, white part only, finely chopped
1 garlic clove, crushed
2 tsp grated ginger
2 tbsp finely chopped coriander
1/2 tsp Chinese five-spice
2 tsp soy sauce
1 tsp honey
25 round wonton wrappers (from the Asian supermarket)

Prawn & scallop dumplings
400g large green prawns, peeled, de-veined, roughly chopped
200g scallops, roe removed, roughly chopped
2 spring onions, finely chopped
2 tsp grated ginger
25 round wonton wrappers

Method
Chicken & shiitake: Soak mushrooms in boiling water for 10 minutes or until soft. Drain then finely chop. Combine all filling ingredients in a bowl and season with 1/2 teaspoon of sea salt. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

Prawn & scallop: Combine all filling ingredients in a bowl and season with 1/2 teaspoon sea salt.

For both dumplings

• Place the wonton wrappers on a clean surface and cover with a damp cloth so they do not dry out.


• Working with a few at a time, place a teaspoon of the filling in the centre of each wrapper. Using a pastry brush, brush the edges of each wrapper with a little water.


• Fold each wrapper in half, enclosing the filling to form a semi-circle. Pinch the edges of each wrapper together to form a frill. Alternatively, bring in three sides of each wrapper to join at the centre, to form a triangle-shaped dumpling.


• Line a steamer (bamboo or metal) with baking paper. Half fill a wok or steamer base with water (the steamer holding the dumplings shouldn't touch the water) and bring to the boil.


• Cooking in batches, place 6-8 dumplings in the steamer, place over boiling water and cover with a lid. Steam for 8 minutes or until cooked through. Serve with dipping sauce.

De-cluttering your life

We are currently in the process of building a house, which is ridiculously exciting and leaves me feeling very grateful. The actual building will begin in the next few weeks and so we have chosen to halve our rent and move into a two-bedroom apartment for the duration.

Our kids will have to share a room and we will put some stuff in storage, but it will be fun to walk to the shops and cafes and the gym and have everything at our fingertips. Plus the money we will save will allow us to do some of the things to our new house that aren't included in our package. We're just choosing to be clever in these uncertain economic times.

One of the great aspects of this process has been de-cluttering. I know there's a guy who appears on the Oprah show who goes into people's homes and helps them wade through the clutter. He looks at the emotional benefits, as well as the physical. I'm with him, I tell you!! We cleaned out our garage last weekend and sent two car loads (!!) of stuff to the charity shop. The rest went to the top of the street for a council clean-up. I was mortified by what I saw in those bags and bags and piles of stuff!!! I hope to never accumulate so much again, it was embarrassing!!

It now feels great to walk into the tidy garage and when we move, it will be with only the stuff we actually use and need. I feel so much freer but also glad that I can pass on some of my stuff, that is still in good condition, to others. As I work from home, I also feel like the de-cluttering process has made me more productive. It's all psychological I'm sure, but hey it works!

I wholeheartedly recommend putting on your trackies, getting out the massive garbage bags and getting into your junk! You'll feel 5kgs lighter!!

Jane

Rollerblading - a cautionary tale

A little while ago, I sat down and tried to think of an outdoor activity that we could all do as a family. Something that was new for all of us, that would be challenging for the girls but would also be of interest to both my wife and I.

I thought about horse-riding. I was sure we would all get a buzz out of it, but we don’t have horses and it’s not really something that would be spontaneous. Hiking? Also not bad, but a bit boring perhaps for the girls. They get bored of walking after about 10 minutes. I thought about rollerblading. Now that sounded like fun. I could not see any reason why we would not all enjoy it.

I ran it by the troops and it was well received. We marched off to the shops and picked up some blades that were on sale. Apparently, they were last year’s colours. Big deal. Armed with our blades, we set off to the waterfront to try them out. We were excited. It was sunny and the bike path looked perfect for blading on.

Our family is a bit bonkers. Most people, putting on a pair of blades for the first time (well in fifteen years at least) would be content with skating around for half an hour or so. We decided we would take the bike path and skate all the way to downtown Barcelona and back – a distance of about 15 kilometres (just under 10 miles for those of you who are non-metric). In retrospect, this was not a good move.

All was going well. The sun was shining. The view was awesome and we were getting to grips with propelling ourselves at ever increasing speeds along the path. Life was good. We were feeling confident. It was then that we encountered our first descent.

On the back of just one of the rollerblades is a little square piece of rubber. It is about the size of a marshmallow. This is supposed to be a braking device. It is highly ineffective. Trust me. Do not rely upon this to stop you. This product design ranks up there alongside those waxy napkins that you get in a motorway café. The ones that cannot soak up any spilled coffee, that serve only to smear liquid all over the table. Like the rollerblade braking device, they are useless.

Rollerblades gather speed quite quickly on a hill. It was manic. It was absolute chaos. None of us could stop. We began to yell at people to get out of the way. I was fixated upon a large group of old women standing on the path. They were all staring out to sea and were blissfully unaware of us hurtling down the hill towards them.

A particularly large lady, complete with headscarf and walking stick, positioned towards the rear of her group, had left a two-foot gap between her backside and the fence. I was committed to shooting the gap, there were no other options available. I zoomed through, praying she would not take a step backwards and wondered if the rest of my family would avoid wiping them out like pins in a bowling alley.

Thankfully, we all zipped through and came to a stop when the ground had levelled out. We were laughing like idiots, enjoying the buzz, enjoying being together as a family, doing something fun. We almost forgot how tired we were.

For those of you out there who blade regularly, I am sure 15 kilometres is not a great distance, but for us, it became a challenge. The return leg was hard work. My youngest daughter started to complain of blisters. My eldest daughter complained of blisters. My blisters complained of blisters. My wife was fine. She was the only one wearing thick socks. Rule number one – wear decent socks. Rule number two – don’t bite off more than you can chew.

All in all, I would recommend it. Blading, I mean, not blisters. It is fun and it is good exercise. Just make sure you practise stopping first. We came home and looked up a few YouTube videos to figure out the best way to stop. Now, all we have to do is put what we have learned into practise and be sure to avoid groups of large, elderly women. :)

Ted

Happy Valentine's Day

Hey all I hope you're having a great day. For some, it's already Valentine's Day and for others tomorrow is our day for LOVE.

Speaking about LOVE I encourage you to listen to today's online radio show (Coffee With Susan and Friends) on http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanjsohn. Today's show was all about LOVE!!! You can listen on demand so jump on and enjoy.

If you're lost for things to do this Valentine's Day I thought thefamilyroom could give you a few ideas. So here goes:

Movies

If you're interested in curling up on the couch with a special someone and watching a movie here's a list of familyroom favorites (just to name a few)!

• An Affair to Remember
• When Harry Met Sally
• The Notebook
• The Wedding Singer
• Sweet Home Alabama
• 50 First Dates
• Serendipity
• Return to Me
• Love Actually
• Say Anything
• Legends of the Fall
• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
• Snow Falling on Cedar
• High Fidelity

Carpet Picnic

Don't want to break the bank or maybe you can't find a babysitter? Have a carpet picnic at home with a few tasty morsels. You can have a night of appetizers a nice bottle of wine, music, dim lighting and vavoom you have created a fantastic night at home with a twist.

Chocolate Fondue

Enjoying a night with your girlfriends or a group of friends? Make it a simple night and enjoy a Chocolate Fondue. To make it even better add 1/4 cup of condensed milk to your melted chocolate. Dip strawberries, pineapple, melon, marshmellows and even a few nuts....Yummo!!

Go Out For Dinner

Book your favorite restaurant or why not try something new. Jump on YELP or another food search site and check out what's new, exciting and different in your area.

I think that's enough for now. Whatever you do, make sure you enjoy. Find something to laugh about, go armed with conversation cards (if necessary) and just relax into the night.

Take care and share a great story from your night.

Enjoy.
Susan xo

First tough life lesson

We recently moved across Canada, to a new home and a new life to be closer to family. I sensed my son, who was usually a friendly, good-natured boy, was having some issues at his new school. He didn’t seem to want to play outside in the morning and was often the last one out at the end of the day. Twice he has come home with a hurt leg and once he has cut his lip.

He was not volunteering any information when I asked about his day, so I decided the best time to get him to open up about what was happening would be at bedtime. It's when we are closest. It is a time of story-telling, snuggling and safety.

On this particular night, I created a story about a little boy named Ed, who was much like my son. The story went like this …

“Ed was a little boy in grade two who loved playing soccer (just like my son) and he was really good at math (just like my son). He had recently moved to a new school and was feeling ….”
Here I paused and pretended to think. My son quickly interjected with “left out?”.
“Yes,” I continued, “He felt left out. And what do you think Ed’s favourite thing about school was?”
“Probably gym,” replied my son eagerly.
“Oh yes, you are right,” I replied and continued, “And what do you think he liked least?”
“Recess,” replied my son without hesitation.

Now that shocked me and broke my heart because up until this point, my son had always made friends easily and loved to play at recess. As the story unfolded, I found out that there were a couple of bigger kids who were picking on him. The boys would push him or kick him when the teachers weren’t looking. And he was scared to go out to play.

Needless to say, I did not sleep well that night, with thoughts of home-schooling and other alternatives racing through my head.

But the next day, I went in and talked to the principal, who is now aware of the problem and has talked to the two bullies, who seem to be keeping their hands to themselves. As well, with a little coaching, my son has mustered up his courage and approached some other kids in the school yard and made some new friends. He also confronted one of the big boys himself and told him that he didn’t like it when he hurt him.

Although the problem may arise in the future, I am proud of my son for working his way through his first tough life lesson, and more importantly, he is proud of himself.

In the meantime, my son’s new favourite bedtime story is the one about Ed, who each night, continues to overcome bullies, make new friends, and discover his own strengths and talents.

Rebecca

Where are friends found?

Have you ever sat and considered your friends and then thought about when you became friends and what triggered your friendship?

Just yesterday, Philip and I were talking about ‘friends by chance’ and ‘friends by choice’ (catch that article on his blog, see our “Blogs we Love” panel for the link).

Today, I want to introduce a new friend to you. Her name is Rebecca Ness, and Rebecca and I truly became friends by chance.

It all happened one hot summer day in Wolseley, Saskatchewan. I was spending the summer with my family, in my parents’ new house by the lake with the bridge (my parents were still living on the farm). It was a warm day and I was busy preparing lunch for my children whilst they ran through the sprinklers my father had set up for them on the front yard. Their squealing and laughter let us know how much they were enjoying the cool water and the splurges of their super soakers.

My mum was with me and, like every day, we noticed a vehicle arrive at the lake with the bridge. The bridge is a major tourist spot in our small town - to learn more about this picturesque area visit: http://www.wolseleyonline.com/ - and it is seen by many who travel the #1 highway across our great country of Canada.

The vehicle in front of my parents’ house was a caravan, or RV as we know them here. Once parked, the side doors flew open and out jumped two lovely little children. They were followed by their mum, who has now become my friend, Rebecca. Her children unashamedly joined my children, as only young ones do (how I wish we adults still had that ever-welcoming disposition) and began to run freely in our front yard. It was lovely to watch.

Rebecca and I chatted and, like any two girls, we covered a lot of ground in those 60+ minutes on the front lawn. When her family had enjoyed their lunch and had a quick last play, they packed up their RV and away they went. Days later, I was surprised to open my emails to find that Rebecca had found me on Facebook. Since then, as they say, the rest is history.

So, I ask you to welcome Rebecca (pictured above with her family) as a new writer to thefamilyroom. She will contribute articles, like the rest of us, from her everyday life. She, like us, is on a journey and through this platform is choosing to live her life out loud hoping that somewhere, someone will take something from her journey and live a stronger, more confident life. Drop by thefamilyroom tomorrow for Rebecca’s inspiring first article.

Susan

Prayer for children

I've been contemplating the luxuries of the developed world, and the insane relative privilege that my children are accustomed to. I am planning for the opportunity for their young lives to intersect with the reality of poverty and the billion children who live in it.

I heard this poem in a Sunday message, and it was exactly the juxtaposition of privilege vs. poverty that is jarring and impossible to ignore. Some amazing people who I know, one very well, the others by handshake and brief interaction, have launched a movement called Compassionart (http://www.compassionart.tv/ ). Another story, where those who know have been compelled to act.

So I urge you to be shocked, disgusted, heartbroken. And may the realities of this poem turn you into an activist for the least of these.

Philip


PRAYER FOR CHILDREN by Ina Hughes

We pray for the children who sneak Popsicles before
supper, who erase holes in math workbooks, who can
never find their shoes. And we pray for those who stare
at photographers from behind barbed wire, who can't
bound down the street in a new pair of sneakers, who
never "counted potatoes", who never go to the circus,
who live in an X-rated world.

We pray for children who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions, who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money. And we pray for those who never get dessert, who have no safe blanket to drag behind them, who watch their parents watch them die, who can't find any bread to steal, who don't have any rooms to clean up, whose pictures aren't on anybody's dresser, whose monsters are real.

We pray for children who spend all their allowance before Tuesday, who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food, who like ghost stories, who shove dirty clothes under the bed, who never rinse out the tub, who get visits from the tooth fairy, who don't like to be kissed in front of the carpool, who squirm in church and scream in the phone, whose tears we sometimes laugh at and whose smiles can make us cry.

And we pray for those whose nightmares come in the daytime, who will eat anything, who have never seen a dentist, who aren't spoiled by anybody, who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep, who live and move, but have no being. We pray for children who want to be carried and for those who must, who we never give up on and for those who don't get a second chance. For those we smother and … for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.

Today's Show

Hey there have posted the 'Dining Table' story on www.susanjoansohn.com (link on the left). Will have something else updated here later so enjoy the story over there then come back and join us here for something new.

Susan